Friday, March 31, 2006

Why Do They Club Seals? By Daniel Engber

Seal of approval
Why Do They Club Seals? By Daniel Engber

Animal welfare activists clashed with seal-pup hunters in Canada this week, just a few days into the annual sealing season. A commercial vessel rammed an inflatable boat filled with protesters over the weekend, and hunters threw seal guts. Animal rights groups oppose the clubbing and shooting of young seals. Why do hunters club seals?

Given our blog's theme, it seemed appropriate to post this linkie.


At Saturday, April 01, 2006 9:42:00 AM, Blogger Coherent Light said...

Strangely enough, I received an email a couple days ago asking us to link to Stop the Seal Hunt. See disclaimer*.

*Clubbing Baby Seals only supports the clubbing of said seals for strictly promotional purposes. We do not support the clubbing of seals for stupid things like pretty coats.

At Saturday, April 01, 2006 3:27:00 PM, Blogger Baa! said...

I guess we better post the disclaimer in a more obvious area.

Freakin Hippies....

At Wednesday, April 05, 2006 1:51:00 PM, Blogger Brad Norman said...

Ok, don't say anything if you don't know what you're talking about.

First of all, they DO NOT club baby seals. They don't even hunt baby seals. It is illegal. They don't use clubs. They use rifles. The hunt of baby seals has been banned for decades now, and the rifle has been the hunter's tool for many many years now. It's far more efficient. Don't mind all those celebrities complaining about the seal hunt. They don't know what they're talking about. The seal hunt is no different from a moose hunt. They only hunt the adults, and they use rifles. The only difference, is that blood shows up better on snow than it would in the forst when somebody shoots a moose, and because of all the blood, people think it's inhumane. My advice to you, research something before you protest it.

At Wednesday, April 05, 2006 3:56:00 PM, Blogger Coherent Light said...

Wow. Out of all the things that have been posted to this blog I would have never guessed that this link would produce the first negative response.

So here we go.

Hi Brad. Thanks for stopping by. Lets see, where to start?

Ah, lets start with the "clubbing" thing that you seem so hung up on. As I said in my last comment "*Clubbing Baby Seals only supports the clubbing of said seals for strictly promotional purposes. We do not support the clubbing of seals for stupid things like pretty coats."

As you can see, I am only a proponent of clubbing seals for promotional reasons (ie. selling cars, generating blog traffic, etc.) not for pretty clothes and such.

So, if they don't club seals, then bully for them. No problem for me.

Now, you say they shoot seals? Um, ok. There are a few holes in your logic on that one. What? 1. Like a club cost a buck fifty and you can use it to kill a whole bunch of seals. Bullets cost money every time you kill something. Plus bullets make a bigger mess (yes, they do) which means you have a messier pelt. Killing seals is a business. Businesses will always go for the most cost efficient solution if legally (and in many cases even if it is illegal) possible. 2. Hunter's use rifles to shoot shit that can get away from them (moose, deer, etc.)or shit that will try to kill them (bears, gators, etc.). Last time I checked, seals didn't fall into either category.

However, since I don't know if they shoot them or not I will take your word on it.

Which leads to my final point. I don't really give a shit if they shoot them, club them, or make them watch the Simple Life until they kill themselves.

I don't think we should go around killing stuff just so Sean Puff P. Puffy Diddy Daddy Combs can wear a pretty fur coat (I'm a cotton man myself). A fur hat maybe (those are like mad pimpin' yo), but not a coat. But hey, that is just me.

P.s. I don't support huntin' (moose, seal, badger, whatever) unless you plan on eating it. Blech. Almost sounded like a god damned hippie there.

P.s.s. I noticed your profile listed Christianity and bible study as hobbies. Ummm, you don't think that maybe there is a slight conflict there? Maybe just a little? Thou shalt not kill and all that?

Anyway, you should seriously try and relax (I recommend trying some of that bodacious BC Bud you guys have up there).

This ain't exactly the Greenpeace web site or anything. I very rarely protest anything. Well, all right, I do protest the French, Paris Hilton, and Sony on a regular basis. Hey! Wait a minute! Maybe Brad is one of the French Canadians (granted they aren't as bad as the real French, but still)! Aha! Newfoundland is right next to Quebec! That explains the angry post. He is a French saboteur trying to discredit this fine blog! Ha! You tricksy French are not clever enough to fool me!

Remember folks, Socialist are just Communists without commitment.

At Wednesday, April 05, 2006 4:05:00 PM, Blogger Baa! said...

And to which I say.... Blech.

At Thursday, April 13, 2006 7:12:00 PM, Blogger Crash said...

Dear All,
I will always go for the person with more sense of humour, and the VIP sense of irony.
Killing anything unnecessarily(how the hell does one spell that)?
If that is the situation, so let me think of a word for it, yes I have thought of it and it is
I guess they legitimise killing by quoting their ..GOD.., oh to be so certain.... that one is right and so ignorant too....... that one believes such bullshit.

At Tuesday, April 25, 2006 7:13:00 AM, Anonymous kay said...

Coherent light is the lowest bastard in the universe, I feel so sorry for all the people who were unfortunate enough to have met you. Id love someone beat you to a pulp, sure they could shoot you and you could be killed quickly but that costs money. How low can you get. What an asshole!

At Tuesday, April 25, 2006 9:22:00 AM, Blogger Coherent Light said...

Goodness. Somebody's knickers are in a twist this morning. Lowest bastard in the universe indeed. Maybe she missed the K-Fed post.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by Kay. We love such thoughtful (if slightly incoherent) comments.

I guess the objection was the clubbing vs. shooting argument? Sigh. I thought the irony was fairly evident, maybe I should use smaller words next time.

At Monday, May 22, 2006 1:35:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


I don't know based on what Kay thought that Coherent Light is a low bastard???

Anyways... I just thought I'd put my five cents in (or however many they are) about clubbing seals. I am no Greenpeace freak or shit like that, just well-informed.

CLUBBING is used because it doesn't put a HOLE in the fur, i.e. you get the prettiest possible fur. Shooting ADULT seals doesn't really help, since it's only the young ones that have the beautiful white fur (to camouflage them against predators). Adult seals have no fur.

So Brad Norman seems to be some ignorant whacko with no knowledge of the whole thing. Yeah, you go ahead and shoot yourself a nice adult seal and wear it around your neck. I bet P Diddy Daddy Doody will look at you and think "What the fu*k?" when you're walking down the street in your blobby spreckled skin.

Don't club baby seals, eat moose!

The Jerk Man


At Tuesday, May 23, 2006 4:43:00 PM, Blogger Coherent Light said...

In response to The Jerk Man:

Thanks for stopping by. As I have said before, I have absolutely no information on the clubbing baby seals thing. Your explanation seems to be pretty much what I thought. It doesn't seem like rocket science that a big whole in the seal makes for a not so pretty coat. As for Brad, I suspect he knows that too. But since he is from one of the prime sealing regions his arguments may be a tiny bit biased.

As for the hell outta me.

While I am certainly a low bastard, I am certainly not the "lowest" bastard in the universe. As proof I submit: hippies, French people, K-Fed, Plushies, and Paris Hilton.

All of the above are most certainly lower than I (I hope).

At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 11:17:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

SO I realize my comment comes many months after the inital debating, but I have to let you all know how terribly wrong you all are.

THERE ISN'T A THING WRONG WITH CLUBBING BABY SEALS. I, personally try to hit the club scene once or twice a week and baby seals are bad ass dancers who always take their turn buying rounds. I for one support clubbing baby seals and think you are all super lame for hating on baby seals and their need to dance.

At Thursday, September 07, 2006 4:56:00 PM, Blogger Coherent Light said...

Aha! Obviously a secret seal agent spreading subversive propaganda! And promoting the delinquency of minors to boot!

Beware folks. Those baby seals are ticksy little buggers.

At Thursday, November 09, 2006 3:55:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude i didint even kno that there are ppl out there who support killing baby seals!!!!that is horrible and lame

At Thursday, November 09, 2006 3:56:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

everybody who kills inocent baby seals are sick!!!!

At Monday, February 19, 2007 12:01:00 PM, Anonymous decceptionpoint said...

OK please don't get offended, I just want ppl to look deeper into the issue...

I hope you all don't eat KFC chicken, because you should read about the torture they go about the fish which are eaten by the now overpopulated seals...or maybe you should look into the hunters who are mostly poor and are now finding it more difficult to help support their families because of how bad the fishing is. What makes the seals so much more worthy of being saved than the fish they are eating??

Baby seals are adorable, and i would never personally kill one myself. But i ask anyone who reads this, to think about why baby seals have gained so much media attention? I hate to be all analytical, but i am writing an essay on the inuit and the newfoundland fishermen who depend on sealing....i just think before people start saying oh poor cute defensless seals, you should all get your research done.

At Wednesday, April 18, 2007 7:31:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know why they club baby seals. Because their jerks thats why. And first of all, the guy who says "they dont club or hunt seals", you are an idiot. Its NOT illegal and they do it because their jerks. and Coherant light, first of all, GAY name! and second, you dont care if they club them? then I totally agree with kay. how would you like it if we clubbed and skinned you??? huh??? I guess you only think of yourself and not others.. bastard..

At Thursday, April 19, 2007 11:07:00 AM, Blogger Coherent Light said...

Hello Anonymous, thanks for stopping by. Let me address your first point.

"Coherant light, first of all, GAY name!"

So, you don't like the name? Well I am assuming since you don't seem to know the difference between their and they're (p.s. they're is the one you should have used in your comment) you probably don't know that Coherent Light is another name for freakin' laser beams. I can't think of anything cooler than freakin' lasers than pirates and ninjas.

Now for your second point.

"and second, you dont care if they club them? then I totally agree with kay."

You should try reading the previous comments. Your grammar, punctuation, and vocabulary could use the help and as an additional bonus you would have found this little gem.

"Which leads to my final point. I don't really give a shit if they shoot them, club them, or make them watch the Simple Life until they kill themselves.

I don't think we should go around killing stuff just so Sean Puff P. Puffy Diddy Daddy Combs can wear a pretty fur coat (I'm a cotton man myself). A fur hat maybe (those are like mad pimpin' yo), but not a coat. But hey, that is just me."

Why don't you go catch a few episodes of the Simple Life?

At Tuesday, June 12, 2007 5:19:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The first questions we have to ask ourselves is what do seals do? They hang around the ice and do what? Look cute? Wow its Paris Hilton all over again. Anywho people get their panties all knotted up over animals and trees and Tang but in all reality we have been killing animals for YEARS and cutting trees for YEARS and also drinking Tang for space. So here's some advice....SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IGNORANT FUCKS. They put a limit on how many seals will die...a limit so that the whole population will not die. One last note the second comment above meh asked:

how would you like it if we clubbed and skinned you??? huh???

Wanna know how I would feel? Dead by the hands of the predator!!! w00t

At Wednesday, January 09, 2008 1:43:00 PM, Anonymous Enders said...

I just think killing innocent animals with such violence is horrible. Shooting is one thing, but clubbing and brutally stabbing is a whole other issue...

At Thursday, March 13, 2008 3:03:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not entering on the Good Vs Evil debate, just some facts on the killing process.

Seal fur is more valuable when it is skinned whole, withouts bullet holes and cuts and scars.

1. To kill a seal with a rifle, and minimise the size of the damage, you have to use a low power, small calibre bullet. It follows that unless the bullet is inserted into a major organ, the seal may take a while to die out of the ensuing blood loss.

2. To kill a seal with a club is efficient and quick. A simple strike on the head, crushing the cranium into the brain will result in near-instant death.

Killing a small seal with a club is quicker than a small calibre rifle bullet.

At Friday, July 24, 2009 9:10:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All of you are terrible they are cute inoscent animals i mean do you kill your pets i dont thnk so!!!!!!!!!

At Friday, August 21, 2009 11:27:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

God gave us domain over the animals (mammals, etc.) and instructed us how to treat them. They are for our purpose, but we are instrcuted to feed them and care for them and they shall be meat for us. When a Donkey labors for man, or anything labors, a reward shall be given.

We do not eat Seal meat, therefore we shall not hunt it. The Seal has it's purpose in the environment - as so skillfully created.

I have seen baby Seals skinned alive. All living creatures feel pain. The practice of clubbing Seals is frightening. I would never want to keep company with someone so heartless, as to club as Seal (missing his blows most of the time - as man is not skilled at this - because man is not supposed to do this)while it's Mother looks on in horror and helplessness and the Mom still trying to save it' Pup from evil men.

Greed is the reason for the clubbing and skinning of still-live Seals. Remember, we do not eat them, Cowards kill them for their pelts ONLY.

Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you.

There is a Day of Judgement - and you Seal-clubbers and just plain ole' Evil-doers will be held accountable...

At Wednesday, December 30, 2009 4:35:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok have you guys ever thought about the parents of the seals??? have you guys ever thought about the sadness they carry in their hearts??? im not a hippie nor french but just killing these animals as propaganda and wanted goods is just horrible.

p.s. Most seal clubbing or Shootinq what ever is done while the parents are looking for food for their children think about that

At Wednesday, December 30, 2009 4:43:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh and one more thing think about how many people are in one of these boats....don't you think one of them is gonna brake a rule and continue killing for their own gain???!!!??

exactly so all of you should just shut up because we all know that you guys don't kill your vicious pets no matter if they dance or wiggle or what ever so you ass wipes should just shut up and actually think will you guys eat those or will you just make coats out of it and then when they no longer fit you you'll just throw it out and what you killed a baby seal for nothing when it could have grown up and reproduced exactly so just shut up

At Tuesday, April 20, 2010 2:03:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At Friday, April 08, 2011 4:40:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Occasionally I will get on the Internet and find websites or blogs similar to this one. I must say, I am proud to see what the Information Age has produced: A variety of biased people who are not capable of objectively comparing their own values to the values of others, who think (in many cases it seems) that they are entirely correct and that all which is right in the world can be prescribed from their mouths. I love that the entirety of the French people are not as intelligent (or perhaps worthy is a better word) as Coherent Light. I also love the idea that just because something doesn't expediently benefit us it is worthless and not worthy of life, and hence deserves a literal or metonymical club. After all it is apparently ok to not give a shit about something if its minding its own business.

Self interest is the driving force behind most life forms, but rarely do people know where true self interest lies.

Thank you for providing me with this wonderful opportunity.

At Monday, December 05, 2011 8:35:00 AM, Blogger The11thHourHero said...

This whole argument is silly. Baby cows are killed and made into veil, chickens are tortured, adult cows are tortured, whales are killed, tigers are poached, and people are raped and killed every day. Things die. It is a fairly simple concept.

With that in mind, the places where seal hunting exists used to be major fishing grounds. The reason they aren't fishing grounds anymore is because something was eating all the fish. I suspect that there are two main culprits: man, and SEALS (which, if I'm not mistaken, had an issue with overpopulation in the sealing regions).

I'm fairly certain that getting anyone to agree to reduce the human population is nonexistent, therefor killing the seals is not that unreasonable. Poor people need to feed their families somehow and I'm certain that if there were another option they would explore it.

People who make this issue religious are... I don't have a nice word for it. There are more religions than one and making your religion the main focus of your argument makes you a bigot and very close-minded (also FUN FACT: not all living creatures feel pain. EX: Carrot).

If you think that this is heartless and monstrous then I hope you don't own a cat. Domesticated cats actually kill more organisms for fun than any other creature on the planet including humans. By your logic, your cat is a monster.

We can all agree that baby seals are cute. But cuteness doesn't mean anything in the real world. A baby cow is pretty cute, as are baby chickens, and really baby [insert animal name]s are all cute. It's an animal and survival of the fittest is the way the world has worked for billions of years. Who has the audacity to say that that is wrong? Who is one person or one species for that matter, to condemn all of time this planet has endured?

In closing... well, this argument is silly, things die, and move on. Sorry to have left a long post. Also, to Coherent Light: I very much enjoy the irony and sarcasm of your posts. Thanks for the chuckle!


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