Thursday, June 09, 2005

Updated - Stop Smoking Experiment

Due to health concerns I have decided to discontinue our research into text messaging as an aid for quitting smoking. (previous links here and here.) And when I say health concerns, I mean numerous death threats directed at the lead scientist. Taking into consideration that Baa and I will be at the same physical location this weekend, the remoteness of said location, political pressure, and lack of medical insurance have convinced me that such an experiment is perhaps unwise. And by political pressure I mean the numerous death threats ("you are so going to die!", etc.). Normally such "political pressure" wouldn't influence my scientific ethics. However, after running some basic mass calculations (Coherent Light's mass < Baa's mass) it was determined that further experiments would endanger the lead scientist ability to walk and/or breathe. On the bright side, it does prove my secondary hypothesis from the original experiment. So we will classify the experiment as a partial success.

3 Comments:

At Friday, June 10, 2005 9:48:00 PM, Anonymous marz said...

Hahahahahahaha - text messages...nope - not gonna work.

I've heard Charles say several times that he's gotta "shit or get off the pot" as far as quitting smoking goes...yesterday as I was leaving for my week of vacation he walked me out...lit up...bums cigarettes off of people when he doesn't buy any because he's trying to quit, chews the hell out of that nicotine gum - LOL - I laugh but I know it's hard to quit. That's how that particular corporate machine runs - profits from your addiction.

Perhaps we could try the method my grandmother had to use - she died of emphysema, and before she kicked the bucket she was on oxygen and had to cart a tank around with her. It made it easier to quit because she couldn't have any live embers near her.

So, with that in mind, we'll just hook you both up to oxygen tanks...you light up, you explode.

The only bad part about that is...there's no experiment in it.

"There is either do, or do not. You do, you fry."
--Yoda

 
At Wednesday, June 15, 2005 5:36:00 PM, Blogger EB said...

Jeezus Marz that's my husband's combustibility you're playing so fast and loose with!

As to Coherent Light's lack of political and scientific independence: are you sure your motivation was above suspicion? I recall several years ago that Baa had the HairClub for Men free info kit sent to your address. Or was it Bosley Medical? Are you absolutely CERTAIN there's no vengeance involved here? Be honest!

 
At Wednesday, June 15, 2005 11:42:00 PM, Blogger Coherent Light said...

My motives were ,naturally beyond reproach. Once again I am the poor, misunderstood genius. Such a lowly motive as revenge never entered my mind. Oh, and you forgot all the Baptist mailing list the sum bitch put me on, and the sexual dysfunction ones, and the other hair loss ones as well.

 

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