Friday, September 29, 2006

Vomit Barrel

Vomit Barrel
Vomit Barrel -
A barrel of laughs and leftovers! This disgusting but funny device throws up on cue by switch. Great quantities of green vomit spew as the familiar Friday night sounds of heaving ensue! Requires standard AC power only. Comes with a cassette player and sound effects.

Woohoo! Halloween is just around the corner. Pick this baby up for only...$2,750.00! Ouch. But you have to admit it is way freakin' cool. Make sure you check out the flash movie!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Screech Sex Tape?

Screech hopes sex tape will lift profile - 28 Sep 2006
The actor who played the nerdy Screech in the US sitcom Saved by the Bell has surfaced as the star of his own sex tape.

According to US media reports, Dustin Diamond features in a 40-minute three-way video with two women.

Diamond, 29, is a black belt in karate and became well-known as the comic relief in the show, which ran from 1989 to 1993. says Dustin Diamond called a Tampa, Florida radio station and didn't deny he was part of the video.

"I've had a lot of fun with video in the past," he told the station.

Eeeeeeeewwwwwwww. So not a tape I wanna see. Where the hell is the Jessica Alba sex tape dammit?!?!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Remote Controlled snake

remote controlled snake
Cool Slithering Action - It's a RC Snake! Over 20" of cool slithering action! Just use the unique snake egg remote controller to send RC Snake across any hard smooth surface. Guide it through the Jungle Challenge obstacle course. You'll swear it's the real thing!

Two cool snakes to choose from: Banana Boa and Green Mamba!

* Snake Egg remote control
* Light-up eyes
* Slithering action
* 4-way snake egg shaped remote control
* 3-piece Jungle Challenge obstacle course

Hehehhee. I'll bet this would be scads of fun at the office. Of course, you would probably get totally fired. But, it would be funny eh?

Not to mention I hate fucking snakes. They give me the heebie jeebies.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris Facts

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris is my hero.

Monday, September 25, 2006

DEFCON - Wargames

DEFCON - Introversion software
Defcon is a multiplayer-oriented, RTS war game based on the cold war and the 1983 cult classic WarGames. Players will place units such as missile silos, radar dishes, air bases, and naval fleets. Also on the map are cities, the size of their icon representing the size of their population. The object of the game is to be the player who “loses least,” more specifically, whose side incurs the least amount of losses in the inevitable nuclear exchange.

Would you like to play a game? Hell yes! About fucking time. You have to wonder why it took someone so long to make this game. I've been wanting to play this since Wargames came out in '83. As a bonus, it only cost $17.50. Sweet.

Here is a link to the FAQ.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Review - Griffin AirClick (Dock)

Griffin airclick with seal
Another review from the Griffin goodie-bag (Yes, someone actually sent us stuff to review). Today we are reviewing the Griffin AirClick (Dock).

What is it?
The AirClick is a radio frequency (that means it can work through walls) remote control for any iPod with a dock connector. Sorry shuffle fans (there must be some, right?), this one isn’t for you.

It comes with the receiver, a remote control and a remote holder with velcro straps.
airclick all

There isn’t much to the receiver. It clicks onto the bottom of your iPod and you are pretty much done. (As a bonus it does have a little blinky light on the bottom that blips when it receives a signal and as we should all know by now, I love the blinky lights.)
AirClick receiver

The remote allows you to control: Up/Down Volume, Next/previous Track, Play/Pause and a Hold switch (locks the keypad so you don’t accidentally smack a button). The remote also has a little clip on the back for attaching to whatever. The clip on the remote does appear to be rather breakable. I haven’t broken it yet (after two weeks of testing), so it may be stronger than it appears
airclick remote

It also comes with a neat little holder that you can attach to things via a 7” or 12” Velcro strap. So something with a relatively small diameter (think steering wheel or Calista Flockhart running band).
airclick holder and remote

The Setup

The setup is so easy, The Wife (a kindergarten teacher) hooked it up in about 10 seconds. You just click the little receiver unit onto the bottom of your iPod and viola, you’re done. Granted, this ain’t the most complicated device in the world, but anything that is this easy to use appeals to my sense of efficiency (or laziness as The wife calls it).

Well, how was it?!?

The short version.
Pretty cool.

What? Fine.

The long version.

I ran the unit through our patent pending, extremely scientific, Clubbing Baby Seals testing process and here are the results.

In the car:
Works like a champ. The only problem I encountered was finding a spot on the steering wheel to hook the holder thingie. I settled for attaching it so it covered one of the horn buttons (my middle finger works way better than a horn anyway).

In the house:
It does exactly what it is supposed to (unlike those penis enlargement pills). Now the blurb from Griffin claims it will work from 60’ away. It might, if you are outside. Inside however, it seemed to be effective to about 25-30 feet. Not bad considering I had a couple of walls in between the remote and the receiver. Quite snarky really. I could wander the whole house (about 1700 sq. ft.) change tracks and volume with no problems.

At The Party:
Fortunately, we hosted the usual pack of idiots over at our place for BBQ/Birthday Party during the testing phase. The party (or what is now know as The Great Mohito Debacle) proved to be a rather fortuitous testing environment.

I learned a couple of things at the GMD.

1. Never let Baa mix your drinks (apparently, 6’4” and 200+ pound Baa don’t make any allowances for us 5’8” 165 pound bastards).
2. The AirClick is a fantastic party game!

I’ve even made a name for my new game (patent pending of course). It’s called Gimme That God Damned Remote!

Here is how the game is played. You listen to The wife’s playlist during a party. When you hit a song that sucks (or whenever you get bored), you hit the next track button. Then the wife screams “Gimme That God Damned Remote!”. * This game works best when you can say “But honey, I have to test it for the review”. **

*Warning! Serious injury and/or death can result from playing this game. Especially if your wife/partner is a 6’ tall, half Cuban, Amazon freak.

** This game is also much easier to play when Baa is mixing her drinks too.

I also discovered a fantastic alternate use for the AirClick. Let’s say your daughter/wife (in my case both) runs around with the god damned iPod attached to their head constantly. Instead of playing Mr. Mime and/or screaming your fool head off trying to get their attention, simply attach the AirClick and anytime you want to get their attention just click pause. Works like a champ.

Final Words


Does exactly what it says it does.
Extremely easy setup.
Gimme That God Damned Remote! Party game.
Super lightweight (Remote control .8 oz, Holder .3 oz, and the Receiver .6 oz)


Flimsy looking clip
The hold switch feels kinda cheap.

Final Verdict

4 out of 5 stars and the much coveted Clubbing Baby Seal of Approval.

4 stars

Seal of approval

P.s. An idea for Griffin. How about integrating the RF remote control into the Grifin iTrip? Since they both use the dock connector it is impossible to use them at the same time (which I think would be pretty cool).

Saturday, September 23, 2006

MANGROOMER Do-It-Yourself Electric Back Hair Shaver

MANGROOMER Do-It-Yourself Electric Back Hair Shaver MANGROOMER Do-It-Yourself Electric Back Hair Shaver

* MANGROOMER's sleek, lightweight, compact design goes from its discreet stored position to fully functional easily in a matter of seconds
* Unique patent pending design enables you to reach all areas of your back from different angles with ease
* Cutting-edge blade design enables extremely close and smooth results without the potential of ingrown hairs straight edge and foil blades commonly cause
* Fully extendable and adjustable handle locks into place at various lengths to reach even the most difficult middle and lower portions of the back

Ahem. If you need it, you already know it. My favorite part are the 12 reviews. Apparently it is quite the hot gift for boyfriends. Only $40 from Amazon.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Ban on skinny models shocks fashion world

nasty skinny model
Ban on skinny models shocks fashion world - Yahoo! News
The Madrid show is using the body mass index or BMI -- based on weight and height -- to measure models. It has turned away 30 percent of women who took part in the previous event. Medics will be on hand at the September 18-22 show to check models.

Under the Madrid ruling, models must have a BMI rating of around 18. That would disqualify top Spanish model Esther Canadas, and supermodels like Kate Moss, based on unofficial records of their height and weight.

About fucking time! Seriously, what the hell is attractive about the skinny, heroin-chic, "waif" models? Sorry, I prefer my women to look like...ummm...women? I know, a daring statement, but I am willing to stand by it.

I really just don't get it. The whole heroin-chic thing was nasty in the 80's and it ain't got any better since. Anyway, enough ranting, if the Yahoo link is dead click here for the full story.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Man Shocks Boy To Stop Him From Urinating On Electrical Devices

dont whizon the electric fence game - Man Shocks Boy To Stop Him From Urinating On Electrical Devices
Trotman, an electrician employed at the Kings Bay Naval Station, admitted using a transformer putting out 56 volts to shock the boy who was intentionally urinating on electrical devices to see them spark, the WJXT-TV report said.

Trotman told investigators he was trying to teach the boy about the danger of electricity before the child seriously hurt himself.

Well, here is what's wrong with the world in a nutshell. Did the guy get a medal? Nope. His own talk show? Nope. Arrested? Yup.

Ain't that a bitch? Hell, it was only 50 freakin' volts. Next thing you know, the cops will be bitchin' about some of my proposed child control techniques.

Props to Cartman for this "shocking" news bite. (What? Like I was gonna let that go?)

Friday, September 15, 2006

Product Review- Griffin EarThumps

EarThumps Anyone?

Its review time again, folks. Griffin Technologies has sent some loot over to the Clubbing Baby Seals staff to review (and no-one is more shocked at this than us, trust me.) So, stay tuned for a series of reviews on some Griffin's iPod accessories over the coming weeks. Today, we will discuss the EarThump.

So, what are the Griffin EarThumps? The EarThumps is simply a set of inexpensive (under $20) earbuds which fit into your ear canal. In the package you get the earbuds, 3 sets of inserts (small, medium, and large to accommodate different sized ear canals) and a little carrying case. The construction of the earbuds is good, with a decent length cord. I was lucky, in that the medium sized ear inserts fit my ear perfectly (in fact too perfect… see below for near death experiences caused by this product.) I have found the earbuds comfortable to wear for long periods of time and they stay in even while running or bouncing around on cardio equipment at the gym.

But, how do they sound? I am very impressed with the sound quality from these earbuds, especially given the product price point. The in-the-ear format isolates the listener from outside noise very effectively (perhaps too effectively!) High and mid-range sounds are great. Bass reproduction is "ok," meaning that while you can certainly hear the bass sounds, a heavy bass track will not overwhelm you like it would out of a high end set of headphones. I used these headphones with both my iPod and iPod shuffle, with the same results. Taken as a whole, I would rate the sound quality as very good (and excellent given the price.)

Sounds positive, huh? Wrong! These earbuds almost got me killed twice in one morning! See, I like to run early in the morning. I am used to wearing either the iPod stock earbuds or Sony over-the-ear when I run. These headphones allow a lot of ambient noise in, even with the music being played at a high volume. The EarThumps, on the other hand, almost totally isolate the listener from outside noise. This may well be a bonus on a train or airplane etc, but when running during morning rush hour traffic, it can cause the tired (and stupid) runner to not hear the cars coming up behind them as they weave along the road. Fortunately the EarThumps do not block car horn levels of noise or I would not be writing this review! Seriously, these headphones do an awesome job of blocking out sound and if you run/bike/rollerblade/walk with headphones, be aware that you need to pay attention when wearing the EarThumps!

To Sum up:

Pros- Good sound, good construction, and you can't beat the price.

Cons- Mediocre bass.

Conclusion- For the price, everyone should own a pair of these earbuds, if even as a quality backup to high end listening equipment.

And I might add, this product is the first winner of our Coveted Clubbing Baby Seal of Approval Award!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Answer Me Jesus

answer me jesus
Perpetual Kid-Answer Me Jesus
Accept Answer Me Jesus into your life today and the rewards will be everlasting. Jesus offers 20 different answers to help you choose the righteous path. Ask a question and turn him over the answer you seek magically appears.

What would Jesus do? Now spiritual enlightenment is only a shake away. What? Like I wasn't going to hell already?

Monday, September 11, 2006

R/C Spy Video Car with Night Vision

ThinkGeek :: R/C Spy Video Car with Night Vision
That's right - this quiet R/C car has a video camera mounted on the front. It broadcasts to the black and white LCD HUD which plugs into the remote. You'll see everything your Spy Car sees (in bright light or in total darkness). And since it rides really low to the ground, you'll be able to go under tables, chair, pets, and anything else that gets in your way.

Boy, it is looking like a bumper crop month for Handy Stalker Tools. Fine, this isn't the best stalker tool, but it could work.

Mazu Kan: Two Player Invisible Fighting Game

ThinkGeek :: Mazu Kan: Two Player Invisible Fighting Game
Mazu Kan is a two-player, superhero(ine) training, virtual fighting simulation. Huh? By squeezing the palm button and punching the air, you will send an attack toward your opponent. If they do not block (by a simple hand movement), you score a hit and their chest unit vibrates. You can play in beginner or advanced mode, depending on your skills.

Ha! Your Kung-Fu is weak! I challenge you!

As a bonus, the thing works on radio frequency so you can punch through walls. Super sweeeet.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Death Race 3000!

SCI FI Wire | Death Race 3000
Legendary B-movie producer and writer Roger Corman told SCI FI Wire that he is involved with the much-anticipated remake of his classic 1970s cult film Death Race 2000. Death Race 3000 is on target for a 2008 release in theaters.

Sweeeet! I love the Death Race baby! One of my favorite movies of all time. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like Mr. Corman will have too much involvement. But hey, it's still Death Race!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Armor of God Kids Pajamas

armor of god pajamas
Boing Boing: Armor of God kids pajamas
The Armor of God PJ's were inspired by a mother reading Ephesians 6:10-18 every night to her daughter to give her a safe and secure feeling in the dark. As they read the scriptures, they put on each spiritual and powerful piece of the Armor of God to keep them safe and peaceful while they slept.

Oh man! I almost pissed my pants when I saw this one. The best part is "inspired by a mother reading Ephesians 6:10-18 every night to her daughter to give her a safe and secure feeling". Why is that so funny? Allow me.....
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Feel safer yet?
13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

How 'bout now? No?
16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Well, I don't know about ya'll, but I feel safer now...

Them hard-core Christers give me the willies. Can you imagine reading that to your kid? Well, if that sounds like fun, make sure to grab the activity book too.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Nolan Near Prisoner Deal

SCI FI Wire | Nolan Near Prisoner Deal
Universal Pictures is near a deal for Batman Begins helmer Christopher Nolan to direct a feature-film version of the classic TV series The Prisoner, Variety reported.

This one's for Baa. He is a huge fan of the original TV series. So here ya go Baa, The Prisoner movie directed by Christopher Nolan no less. You can't ask for any better than that.

Star Wars R2-D2 Interactive Astromech Droid

remote control R2D2
Star Wars R2-D2 Interactive Astromech Droid
This one is from out resident Hot Web Babe Marz....

Marz says
It's pretty nifty. Well, it's not an Aibo, but this is a lot cheaper. :-)

He navigates, patrols and finds you on its own. He guards and protects your room with his sentry room alarm, he plays multiple interactive games, and he remembers and reacts to key Star Wars characters. Tap him on the head too hard and he’ll make an annoyed whistle and back away.

This will set you back about $100. While it may not be an Aibo, it is also not discontinued (like the Aibo) and not made by evil fucking Sony (like the Aibo).

I keep trying to tell Marz to get over her Sony fixation but she never listens. Of course, she also thinks Mac's are da bomb so her judgment is questionable to say the least.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Crikey! 'Crocodile Hunter' Steve Irwin killed by stingray!

Steve Irwin - 'Crocodile Hunter's Steve Irwin dead - Sep 4, 2006
Steve Irwin, the TV presenter known as the "Crocodile Hunter," has died after being stung by a stingray in a marine accident off Australia's north coast.

Irwin, 44, was killed by a stingray barb that pierced his chest, according to Cairns police sources.

Now that is totally messed up. What can I say, I liked the dude. He was completely insane, but in a good way.

Whores of Warcraft

Whores of Warcraft
Boing Boing: Warcraft cosplayer porn site
A World of Warcraft cosplayer porn site called "Whores of Warcraft" appears slated to open soon...

Ah, well. This was inevitable I suppose. Warcraft porn. Anyway, if this flips your switch, it is coming opening available (What? Like you could have resisted?) Sept. 5th.

Scientists: Pluto not a planet

Scientists: Pluto not a planet - -
Capping years of intense debate, astronomers resolved Thursday to demote Pluto in a wholesale redefinition of planethood that is being billed as a victory of scientific reasoning over historic and cultural influences.

Just in case you missed it. We only have 8 planets now. Pluto is officially a "Dwarf Planet" along with a couple of new ones. How strange is that?

Friday, September 01, 2006

Bacon Wallet

bacon wallet
Bacon Wallet
Put some meat into your pocket with one of these intriguing bacon wallets! You thought people looked at you weird before? Wait until you see the looks you get from pulling a wad of bacon out of your jeans.

Screw them lame Duct Tape Wallets! We're talkin' bacon! Bringing home the bacon? Fuck that. I've got the bacon in my back pocket biotch!

Props to OhGizmo!