Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Uncle Oinker's Gummy Bacon

gummy bacon
ACCOUTREMENTS - Uncle Oinker's Gummy Bacon
These succulent strips of Gummy Bacon are so realistic you’ll want to fry some up and serve them with an egg and a side of hash browns. But please don’t. Gummy Bacon should only be savored raw. Each illustrated window box contains four 20 gram slices of strawberry flavored gummy meat sealed in a plastic bag.

What can I say? I've got a thing for bacon. Everything is better with bacon as I have mentioned before.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Royal Society Publishing - Free archives until 12/2006

royal society
MAKE: Blog: Royal Society Publishing - Free archives until 12/2006
For the first time the Archive provides online access to all journal content, from Volume One, Issue One in March 1665 until the latest modern research published today ahead of print. And until December the archive is freely available to anyone on the internet to explore.

Any history buffs out there? I thought this was pretty cool. Be forewarned, navigating this site looks like it will take some patience. Latin might not hurt either.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Griffin iTrip Auto Review

Schwag Review: iTrip Auto vs. iPlay | Griffin Technology

Here is another review of free schwag that Coherent Light pimped out and that I finally got around to posting (what? I'm freakin' busy!). Be prepared to read for awhile...I went all out to bring you the best in review-entertainment goodness. I even took bonus action photos just for you!
Is it a sign of bad things to come when a product review begins with a Disclaimer?

Disclaimer: First, this is not a scientifically viable test. There are no control groups or multiple iPod units to test with. This review is based solely on my opinion and my experience in my car, with my iPod 20 GB model, and in my hometown. It may not reflect the views or experiences of the parent bloggers, Coherent Light and Baa!. These results are not repeatable in any process-based format, and the statements made herein are solely the responsibility of marzelous. Even the dirty jokes. Due to the adult content I do not recommend this review to anyone under the age of 18. You’ve been warned.

My good friend Coherent Light (allright, he's more like the wildly vindictive yet surprisingly sensitive big brother I never had) asked me to write a review on one of the pieces of sweet schwag that he received from a marketing company who apparently reads the blog…or at least found it on a metasearch. The item chosen for me to review was the iTrip cable FM transmitter, made by Griffin. By the way, Mr. Marketing Person (Editor's Note: Please see the comments section for some humorous clarification) who contacted the blog, you have just received Martian Kewl Points (MKPs) from me, one for each piece of sweet Blog Schwag. Add up enough MKPs and you might get a photo of me in my shiny vinyl underwear. With zippers. Ooooh...shiny.

Then again, you might get the same kind of picture, but of Coherent Light. Guess you’ll never know until it’s too late.

Some background about the testbed:

I currently own a Monster FM Radio Transmitter with the channel select of the whole (odd-numbered) FM dial. I have to say I’ve really been enjoying blasting some obnoxiously loud favorites from my iPod through it into my car speaker system as I’m stuck in traffic on the way to work. In spite of this I will try to make this an unbiased review for your reading pleasure.

I base this entire review on my Monster cable ownership (approximately 6 months) and on a 1-week test of the iTrip, during which the iTrip was used (beaten, whipped, spanked) and abused, just as I do my Monster cable. My Monster cable has served me well for nearly 6 months without even one issue. This review does not include longevity tests of the iTrip. Total usage of the iTrip was about 6 times for a total of about 8-10 hours of listening time while driving to and from work and other destinations, and also two 20 minute tests where I sat in the car in my driveway and monkeyed around with the functions, tested accessibility, ease of use, and relative power of the transmitter. It also spent 4-5 days crammed into a snack-sized Ziploc bag, which was subsequently crammed in my purse, and survived that very well indeed (the Monster cable would not compress easily into that Ziploc). It also survived a few hot Florida summer days stuck in my car while I was at work, as does my Monster cable nearly every day.

Unfortunately I have a lame stock Delco radio in my GM car, which is only a step up from Coherent’s non-functioning car stereo in his car, so I cannot select an even-numbered station in order to test the impressive odd AND even frequency selection of the Griffin iTrip. The Monster only allows odd frequency selection, which has served my purposes just fine; however, if you have a newer/upgraded stereo system this limitation of the Monster cable may not be acceptable in metropolitan areas (greater than Tampa…like, say, Atlanta or NYC which are ripe with FM congestion). Nearly every frequency on the FM dial in larger cities, like the Tampa Bay area, is either taken or is suffering greatly from signal bleed-through from adjacent frequencies who pay the FCC enough money to not be forced to broadcast a clean signal <*cough ClearChannel cough*>. I’m sorry, was that my outside voice? Forgive an old Pirate Radio DJ for the dripping disdain. I’ll get a hankie to clean up, and we shall continue.

Now, just sit back, relax, and read the review.

iPlay all


iTrip all

The iTrip and Monster units are, of course, similar in function, with easy-to-read LCD displays on the screen to indicate what frequency the transmitter is transmitting. Each unit is super easy to use; in fact I only read the instructions attached to the cable itself for the Monster cable, and only glanced at the instructions for the iTrip to see how to switch from Mono to Stereo (because it wasn’t immediately evident how to do this). Each unit charges your iPod while it is plugged in, a very handy feature. Each unit transmits on it’s selected frequency with seemingly equal strength, and moving the transmitters within the vehicle caused disturbance in each of the transmissions in the same places in my car (for instance, when the transmitters are near the passenger seat rail on the floorboard, they both echo engine/chassis vibrations in the signal). If I were able to test even numbered frequencies I am guessing I would find it very handy to be able to broadcast on a quieter frequency between the radio-accessible odd frequencies…sadly this is not an option for me. One unit was not better than the other in overcoming station noise during a broadcast when choosing a non-utilized odd frequency that had either heavy bleed-over or white noise static, or both. Have I mentioned the true quality of radio signal in most of Florida sucks donkey nuts?

The iTrip cable is compact and flexible with a solid iPod cable end that stays put inside the iPod, even through some tight corners or solid braking in the vehicle where the iPod slid off the seat and ended up in the floorboard (Monster cable has a similar very stable plug). Disclaimer: Please to not try to dislodge the cable using erratic driving maneuvers as it’s not good for your iPod to “hit the deck” as it were, not to mention the possible danger to you or others driving near you. See what I do for you, Coherent?? Sacrificing my little harddrive to test your schwag, not to mention the risks I’ve taken with my own precious body…oh wait, you know some of my ex’s, nevermind. Anyway, the selector module in the middle of the cable is a good distance from the power adapter, which allows you to easily reach it when seated in the vehicle (this is assuming you have it plugged into a power outlet accessible in the driver area of the vehicle). In comparison, as with all Monster cables, the Monster transmitter cable is thicker and less flexible. Despite claims that the Monster cables are thicker because of their ability to conduct better quality sound, for a transmitter I could not tell a noticeable difference in the transmitter sound quality between the two units. Then again I drive a 2001 Oldsmobile Alero with a rattling sunroof assembly. What do I know of sound quality in my car??

Speaking of sound quality, another feature the Monster unit does not have is a monaural setting for single-channel Podcasts and audio books. Some people find that these sound better in mono, and if you are one of those people, the the iTrip satisfies your request. The power adapter end is smaller in the iTrip, not in diameter of the plug end, but the overall size – the Monster cable has a larger handling end that makes it easier to pull out/push in to the power plug. For once I won’t make the obvious sex toy references here, I will leave it to your imagination. The Monster cable power adapter seemed to fit better into the plug as well. And Monster has a red backlight LED for the inside of the adapter unit that glows a red M. This makes it easier to find in your peripheral vision when your eyes are on the road. Not that I would ever promote messing with your stereo equipment while driving. Nope. Not promoting that at all.

One big problem I see with the iTrip is that you cannot save pre-selected frequencies on which to broadcast. This makes for more fidgeting with the unit and your radio when your currently-selected station becomes too noisy and overpowers the transmitter. Though, when you consider that the iTrip seems to weigh in at $30 less than the Monster cable, this becomes less of an issue.

iTrip user interface

The other issue I see is that the iTrip frequency indicator does not seem to be backlit for those of you who drive after dark or have limo-tinted windows. The Monster cable has big red glowing numbers which light up a small area around it in the dark. They’re really bright. Like me. *smirk* The Monster frequency indicator is sometimes hard to see in bright sunlight, you have to shade the unit with your hand sometimes. A minor annoyance.

iPlay user interface

Aside from the smaller size of the iTrip, it’s seemingly matched transmitting power to the Monster, and the mono setting for single-channel Podcasts and audio books, which are all pluses in my book, the other thing I really like about the iTrip is that the selector module seems to be covered on the back in that real-feel skin-like plasticky vinyl stuff. For a tactile person like me, this is very…errr…how do I say…attractive. Yes, it’s an attractive feature for me. Now all it needs is a little longer cord, and to be combined with the Audi-Ohhhh somehow (see past blog entries for more details).

Damn, I really need to learn not to type those thoughts.

Oh, c’mon, like you actually read this blog on a regular basis and you DON’T know what I’m talking about when I mention the real skin-like feeling vinyl/plasticky coatings they have out now???? Get real!!

Well, if you’ve made it this far, either you’re really interested in what I have to say about the unit, or you’re waiting for the next sexual innuendo. Hopefully it’s for the real content and you’ve just put up with my sense of humor. I’ll wrap up this review by stating that for the money, the Griffin iTrip is a definite Good Buy when I tally up the score. The features that it lacks I don’t really believe are worth the $20-30 price difference from the Monster cable, and for the feature of having the odd AND even FM frequencies available, along with monaural and stereo settings, the iTrip should be the choice for people who own car stereos that can access the even frequencies and have a preference of mono vs. stereo when listening to spoken word recordings.

Overall, and based purely on out-of-the box performance, the Griffin iTrip is worth the money to get your tunes playing in your car and a great way to avoid your local crappy “we play the same shit day in and day out” radio stations.

If I could give the iTrip Auto by Griffin 4 1/2 stars I would. Because we don't have 1/2 stars and I really like the frequency pre-set selection buttons on the Monster, both for ease of use and safety reasons (I tend to drive for long periods of time, upwards of an hour or more, through different radio territories) I am giving the unit 4 stars.

Thanks for reading!

4 stars

So, this wins the Clubbing Baby Seal of Approval!

Seal of approval

Friday, October 20, 2006

Squatting Gnome

squatting gnome
Perpetualkid.com - SQUATTING GNOME
Be the envy of your neighbors. Classic 7x7" Plastic Garden Gnome in a rather interesting pose. Perfect for the garden. You could even use it to liven up your office cube!

Do you hate those stupid gnomes your neighbors stick in their gardens? Instead of stealing them and using them for target practice (Baa) make a statement instead. Make sure to check out the Mooning Gnome and the Stuck Gnome too. Oh, you might want to pick up some chain or booby trap materials cause these suckers are gonna get swiped in a heartbeat by the local neighborhood ruffians (Baa).

Marijuana's Key Ingredient Might Fight Alzheimer's

LiveScience.com - Marijuana's Key Ingredient Might Fight Alzheimer's
The active ingredient of marijuana could be considerably better at suppressing the abnormal clumping of malformed proteins that is a hallmark of Alzheimer's than any currently approved drugs prescribed for the treatment of the disease.

Snicker. Well, I think the irony is pretty obvious here.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

New Cure for Hiccups! Anal Massage?

usb finger massager
Stinky feet, annoying noise top IgNobel prize list - Yahoo! News
Other winning research included a U.S. and Israeli team's discovery that hiccups could be cured with a finger up the rectum and a study into why woodpeckers do not get headaches.
I can't believe I've never heard of these before. Anyway, the IgNobel (pronounced ignoble)
"The prizes are intended to celebrate the unusual, honor the imaginative -- and spur people's interest in science, medicine and technology," said Marc Abrahams, editor of the science humor magazine
Too damn lazy to rephrase that. Pretty cool/funny stuff and the prizes are awarded by real Nobel Prize winners.

Here is a Page cache from Yahoo since we know it won't be there in a week.

Dead Body Towel

dead body towel
No Body will dare take your spot on the beach!

This unique towel is definitely going to grab some attention, and it's sure to keep bodies warm. Whether it's at the beach or lounging by the pool, the Dead Body Towel has got you covered.

I just love Halloween. All the really morbid sick stuff gets busted loose for my most favorite of holidays. You can expect a few more Halloween themed post before the free candy score-age begins.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Let them eat cake?

Thorax Cake
MAKE: Blog: Thorax cake
Heart - orange cake with raspberry sauce
Lungs - apple spice cake with strawberry sauce
Kidneys - orange cake with blueberry sauce
Stomach - ginger cake with mango sauce
Liver - chocolate cake with kiwi sauce
Small Intestine - jelly roll with red currant jelly

Cake? That's a cake?!? That is one of the most disgusting things I've ever laid eyes on. Freakin' awesome!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Musical Condoms

musical condoms
Man Invents Musical Condoms | OhGizmo!
A miniature loudspeaker and motion sensor implanted in the condom’s upper cuff provides a range of musical tones during sex. Music volume depends on intensity of love-making and tone varies based on the sexual position.

Ummm...well...that's an interesting idea. I'm a little confused as to how this is supposed to make sex better. Unless, of course, it glows in the dark and plays the Star Wars theme. What? Oh come on, you know that would be haaaawt!

RC Pirate Ship - I Want One Of Those

remote control pirate ship
RC Pirate Ship - I Want One Of Those

This beautifully detailed galleon complete with full rigging, skull and crossbone bedecked sails, gunnels bristling with canons, and even a 'firing' canon in the prow, is if not quite The Black Pearl, at least the coolest and most original RC boat to hit the pond this century. The paintwork is wonderfully detailed and it all looks very rough and rustic, which belies it's rather zippy turn of speed. Powered by twin props, there's a button on the remote that makes the canon rise, emit a sort of banging noise and glow red

Wooh! Honey, put this on the Xmas list!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

GSM Tracker

sazo GSM tracker
GSM Tracker. - The Red Ferret Journal
The Sazo GSM Tracker. Track, monitor, communicate. Uses standard cell triangulation to keep track of…well whatever you want really.

Definitely a Handy Stalker Tool. This baby doesn't even need a cell phone and it is smaller than a credit card. I'm sure this will only be used for tracking grandma...

R/C Scorpion

remote controlled scorpion
R/C Scorpion - The Red Ferret Journal
Move this scorpion forward, left, right or turning in reverse - all from up to 25 feet away!

Ahh yes. You can't go wrong with remote controlled creepy crawlies. This is totally cooler than the remote control snake.

Especially considering I hate fucking snakes. No really. I had a god damn snake set up house under my porch and the only thing that stopped me from dumping gas and a match on the bastard was The Wife whining about "burning down the porch you idiot!" Like that isn't a small price to pay for offing a snake. Sheesh.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Review! - Griffin Tempo for iPod Nano

Griffin Tempo for Nano
Griffin Technology- Tempo - Sport Armband for iPod Nano

Greetings all. Here comes another review from the Griffin schwag-bag. Here is the verbiage from Griffin...
The tempo armband keeps your full-size iPod or nano safe yet accessible while you hike, jog, ride, canoe, sky-dive, get your gardening done, or just hang around the house.
The tempo armband at a glance:
* Sleek, low profile design with reflective accents for high visibility
* Built-in iPod screen protection
* Headphone cord wrap to take up slack
* Machine washable, one-size-fits-all strap
* Soft inner lining shelters iPod

griffin tempo nano

Since I don't have a Nano (and I'm incredibly lazy) I pimped out this review too. So, without further ado, here is the review....
I like the armband. It is comfortable and easily adjustable and will fit a large range of sizes. It breathes well and has a clip that will hold the cord out of the way. I still prefer to clip my iPod to my waistband but for those who prefer the use of an arm band this is a good choice. 4 out of 5 stars.

4 stars

I know, not as funny as our usual review. But in her defense, she doesn't read the blog so she has no idea how irreverent and funny Das Blog is.*

Which reminds me of a semi-funny story. I had been writing the blog for over a year and still couldn't get The Wife to read the damn thing (very supportive no?). Anyway, I went out to mow the goddamn yard and left the blog up on my laptop. The Wife was bored I suppose and started reading unbeknownst to me. So after I finished my weekly battle with the yard/mower/god-awful-heat I staggered inside and collapsed to be greeted by The Wife. Here is how the dialog went:

The Wife: "Hey, did you know your blog is funny?"

Me: “What?”

The Wife: "Did you know your blog is funny?"

Me: "That's kinda what I was shooting for..."

The Wife: "I didn't know it was funny."

Me: (staring blankly)

The Wife: "I thought it was just dorky computer stuff or something."

I know, some of your are thinking, "Well how was she supposed to know it was funny?" My response would be 13 years! That's right, we had been married for 13 years at that time. I can assure you she has known my mind is filthier than a Warped Tour porta-potty for far longer than that. And she is more than well aware of my inability to pass up a good joke (good being rather relative) since she is my favorite target.

Well, I did say it was "semi-funny".

Anyway, back to the review...

It looks like the Tempo is a pretty good product and with a 4 out of 5 rating it earns the coveted Clubbing Baby Seal of Approval!(tm)
Seal of approval

* For those debating the funny and irreverent part here is a little joke for you (Props to Baa).

A penguin takes his car to a mechanic.

Mechanic says, "It will be a little while before I can figure out what's wrong with it. There's a shop across the street you can pass the time at."

So the penguin heads across the street and orders some ice cream (penguins love ice cream you know?).

So the penguin finishes his ice cream, but his poor little flightless wings are too short to clean himself. So the penguin heads back to the mechanics with ice cream all over his face.

When the penguin reaches the mechanic's shop the mechanic announces "It look like you blew a seal."

The penguin looking horrified exclaims, "No I didn't! I just had some ice cream!"

Monday, October 09, 2006

Cocktails for Carnivores

bacon martini
Cocktails for Carnivores | Liquor Snob
Leave it to folks in Vegas to one-up us by mixing actual meat cocktails, from the Bacon Martini (which contains - you guessed it, bacon!) to the Beefytini (a heady concoction of gin, vermouth and "jerky juice). Plus, the article at Chow.com says the addition of bacon takes the nastiness out of bottom-shelf vodka

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Bacon baby! Everything is better with bacon!

Update: Here is the recipe from LiquorSnob
Lightly mist martini glass with vermouth, and rim the edge with bacon grease. In a cocktail shaker, mix 3oz vodka, one dash tobasco, and one dash olive juice. Shake well and strain into cocktail glass. Skim excess bacon grease from surface of cocktail. Garnish with one slice of bacon.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Griffin iClear (Shuffle) Reviewed!

Griffin iClear
Another product review from the Griffin grab bag. This one is brought to us by our guest reviewer Brie Ann. Brie Ann is an extremely bright 15 year old High School student and proud iPod Shuffle owner.

So, since I don't own a stinking Shuffle, I had little choice but to pawn off the review. The only other Shuffle owner I know is Baa and he is busy reviewing the TuneCaps Griffin sent over (You are reviewing the damn TuneCaps right Baa?) I thought it might be a neat idea to get a different viewpoint. So here we go...

iClear contents
Brie Ann says...
The iClear is an outer casing for the iPod shuffle. I gave the iClear 3 stars because it was rather bulky and made the buttons hard to push. The lanyards come in fun vibrant colors which made my iPod easier to find. All in all the iClear provided protection for my iPod when I dropped it , which caused less damage to it. The iClear is a good idea for a product but is just a smidge bulky.

Seems kinda strange to go to all the trouble and expense (it cost $20 bucks) of protecting a Shuffle (and it seems possible Griffin agrees with me since I can't find it on their website). But, if you are into it, you can grab one at CompUsa
3 stars

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Help! Drain Stopper

Help drowning drain stopper
Amazon.com - Help! Drain Stopper
A rubbery hand extends up from the plug mimicking a reach for help out of the watery depths, while essentially providing a non-slip surface for an easy and firm grip in the sink or the tub.

I think I'll get one of these for my son's bath time. I wonder how bad he'll freak?

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

USB Rechargeable Battery

usb rechargable battery
The Raw Feed - The Rechargeable Battery
Called the USBCELL line, the batteries are shaped like ordinary AA batteries. The top FLIPS OPEN to reveal a USB connector. Just plop it into any computer, and it recharges -- no external charger required! The company promises to soon come out with a full line of USB-powered rechargeable batteries

Now this is pretty clever bit of engineering. Unfortunately the batteries are only capable of holding a 1300mah charge vs. the typical 2500mah I use. Still, these would be pretty cool to toss in with the digital camera on trips.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Laser Beam Safe

laser beam safe
Laser Beam Safe
* Motion detecting laser-lights, a secret code and thumbprint must be penetrated to get into the safe
* The unit automatically locks when closed
* Alarm sounds if the laser connection is broken or an incorrect code is entered
* Keypad is hidden in a sliding panel

Yet another reason I hate kids today. st they get a safe with voice activation and now they get a safe with frickin' laser beams and we got this...
toy safe