Monday, December 26, 2005

Talking Head Vibrator (NSFW)

talking vibrator
Strange New Products: Talking Head Vibrator (NSFW)
My Little Secret LLC announced the launch of their new "Talking Head Vibrator", a rabbit style adult toy with a voice-recorder chip embedded into the base.

Instead of pleasuring oneself with a steady buzzing drone, they can record their voice (or someone else's voice) into the vibrator, and enhance their experience with audio.

Recording your own messages is done through a special recording device. The chip, referred to as a "cartridge key", is inserted into the device, and then you start talking. You can also produce audio files, e-mail them to someone, which the recipient can download into the recording device.

Heh. Ummm....well. Lets see. where to go with this post. How about a quip from The Wife on this one?

"Hey, we should get this for the Schram-man. Then instead of talking out his ass all the time he could talk into it." (Paraphrased for humor. The Wife not being terribly funny).

Or Paris Hilton?

"That's hot."


"Hi my name's Elmo. Hee hee hee."

Sony. (After modifying it to use memory sticks and installing HIV so no one else can use it.)

"Mini-disc. Ohhhhh. Mini-disc!"

This is just too damn easy.

CGI faces

CGI faces. - The Red Ferret Journal
Steven Giesler’s CGI faces show off the state of the art. Astonishing stuff.

Daaaaamn! Now that is freakin' amazing. That is not a picture of an actual person. That is a completely computer generated image! No shit. Very soon we will all be able to generate our very own scary black man to terrify whitey with.


Not politically correct? Just wait 'till the news media gets a hold of this. Then they can manufacture "looters" on demand.

P.S. Prejudice is narrow-minded. Broaden your mind and hate everyone!

The Year in Review - According to Google

Google Press Center: Zeitgeist
It turns out that looking at the aggregation of billions of search queries people type into Google reveals something about our curiosity, our thirst for news, and perhaps even our desires. Considering all that has occurred in 2005, we thought it would be interesting to study just a few of the significant events, and names that make this a memorable year. (We’ll leave it to the historians to determine which ones are lasting and which ephemeral.) We hope you enjoy this selective view of our collective year.

Google's year end round up of top searches and whatnot. Pretty interesting...and depressing. Check out the top 10 searches to see what I mean.

1. Janet Jackson
2. Hurricane Katrina
3. tsunami
4. xbox 360
5. Brad Pitt
6. Michael Jackson
7. American Idol
8. Britney Spears
9. Angelina Jolie
10. Harry Potter

Whedon Calls Death Knell For Firefly

Slashdot - Whedon Calls Death Knell For Firefly
"Entertainment Weekly is reporting on the end of Firefly." From the article: "Alas, Whedon's fond memories are also tainted by Serenity's status as a franchise nonstarter; despite Universal's best marketing efforts, the film only mustered $25 million. 'In the end, it was what it was: a tough sell,' says Whedon, adding that it appears the Firefly saga has reached its conclusion. He has no regrets -- and he's moving on."

I told ya'll to go see Serenity! Didn't I?!? Now look whats happened!

AMD tops Intel in September retail desktop PC share

AMD tops Intel in September retail desktop PC share | InfoWorld | News | 2005-10-14 | By Dan Nystedt, IDG News Service
AMD captured a 52 percent share of the U.S. retail desktop market in September, topping Intel's 46 percent share, according to market research firm Current Analysis, which is based in San Diego, California.

"Despite its past successes in surpassing Intel desktop sales in select retail sales weeks, September 2005 marked the first time AMD was able to outperform Intel for an entire month," Current Analysis said in a Thursday report.

Chalk one up for the little guy. I dunno, I thought it was noteworthy.

Representin' Old School Style

shirts - Atari and Activision
Welcome! carries funny, vintage, music, 80s tees, animal & custom t-shirts.
Browse 1000's of hard to find t-shirts or Design your own custom t-shirt online!

Ran across these kickin' vintage Atari and Activision shirts looking for some phat new threads. Show those pansy n00bs you were bustin' up Pitfall while there were still a beer in their moms hand.

Activision and Atari shirts.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Look! It's Mick Jagger!

THE RAW FEED - Worst USB Gadget Yet: Talking Lips Speaker
The world of bad USB peripherals has sunk to a new low. A company in Japan is selling a desktop speaker with GIANT LIPS that move according to the sound being played.

Ok, so it isn't Mick. But it sure does look like him.

Xmas Tree Plasma Light

ThinkGeek :: Xmas Tree Plasma Light
Nothing says "holiday cheer" like plasma!
We think that plasma and the holidays go together like caffeine and soap. Or maybe... well, we will work on a better example and get back to you. Anyway, if you want to show-off some sci-fi inspired holiday cheer this little plasma light is perfect.

The Xmas Tree Plasma Light has a glass globe with a small Christmas tree in the center. It has a sensitivity control that allows you to set the light to full o­n or react to different sound levels.

Sweet! Now here is a holiday decoration I can dig. Happy Holidays everyone! Oh, I deliberately said Happy Holidays cause 'ol Bill O'Reilly says we should say Merry Christmas on account of "Happy Holiday's" offends Christers.

Hawking Dish - Steroids for WiFi

Hawking Dish: Steroids for WiFi - Gizmodo
This odd-looking gadget from Hawking doesn’t pick up alien signals, but it does let you boost any WiFi signal by up to a hard-to-believe 300 percent. The HWU8DD Hi-Gain USB Wireless-G Dish Adapter connects to either a computer or laptop using Wireless-B or Wireless-G network and a USB connection, and uses dish technology and Hawking’s Signal Strength LED Indicator to find the strongest and best signal around. You’ll also get WEP, WPA, and WPA2 security and a directional antenna that concentrates wireless signals away from computer components to avoid signal interference. And it only costs $69.

Damn! Talk about Uber. Not only does it look totally bad ass (which means it must work awesome) but only $70. Just remember, 'ol C. Light's birthday is coming up.

Instant Replay Binoculars

instant_replay_binoculars - Instant Replay Binoculars
If you spend much time looking through binoculars, you’ve at some point probably wished you could replay an image you just saw. Bushnell had you in mind when coming up with these 8 x 32-magnification Instant Replay Digital Binoculars, which replay .35 megapixel video clips (15fps) or 2.1 megapixel still images on a 1.5” LCD screen. While the binoculars were designed for replay on the go, the set also comes with imaging software and a USB for transfer to your computer.

Ah, more useful stalker tools. Will wonders never cease?

Get rid of those pesky uninstall folders - Answer Line: Clean Up Your Hard Drive After Upgrading Windows
When you update Windows 2000 or XP, the update program often saves uninstall information to a folder such as the ones you describe. If you're sure you want the update, remove its uninstall folder.

The Windows Service Pack uninstall is in the folder $NtServicePackUninstall$ (see FIGURE 1). Others are named $NtUninstallKBnnnnnn$ or $NtUninstallQnnnnnn$ (each n represents a digit).

If the folder is more than a few weeks old, you can remove it without risk. You then won't be able to remove the associated update--not necessarily a bad thing. Read about updates before you remove their uninstallers at ("nnnnnn" is the six-digit number in the folder name).

Thought I'd pass this along. Delete all those update folders from Microsoft update and save some space. I got back about 800MB.

Catapult Watch

The only watch that's also a weapon- it shoots BBs, dried peas, popcorn kernels, lentils and more up to 8 feet across the room! This stainless steel watch will be the envy of the classroom or the meeting room. Use it to "wake-up" those sleepy headed co-workers and classmates. When they look around to see who's been pelting them with spitballs, you'll just be casually checking the time.

Most excellent. Although I'd rather have the desktop version.

Throw in the Booze and it's a Party - Gizmodo

Throw in the Booze and it's a Party - Gizmodo
Yes, that’s right, with everything you need to throw a martini tasting party in your very own home—except the booze, unfortunately—even you can be a good host for a night. Martini in a Box is a $30 kit that includes a 15-page party planner, stainless steel cocktail shaker, martini and food recipes and even party invitations in case you’re just so retarded you can’t write them yourself.

I’m a little weirded by the Martini Jokes, Quotes and Toasts, cause I think that may actually make you look even dorkier than you are, but the vodka judging form could be kinda cool. Unless you like gin martinis. Then you’re out of luck, I guess.

Just in time for New Years. I'm tempted to pick this up just to see what the hell a martini joke is...

Back Hair Removal Solved Razorba Back Hair Shaver

Back Hair Removal Solved Razorba Back Hair Shaver - The Red Ferret Journal
The shaver system for your back. Yuck!

This one's for you ladies. Tired of sleeping next to Sasquach? Here's the solution. Oh, and eeeeeeew.

Bottlefly - The Bruce Lee of Bottle Openers

Bottlefly: The Bruce Lee of Bottle Openers | Liquor Snob
Remember that kid in your high school who thought he was a ninja? Like Napoleon Dynamite without the llama or the dancing skills, he was never without his nunchaku, his throwing stars, his butterfly knife. Yeah, that guy was totally weird, but you have to admit...butterfly knives are pretty damned cool. A few twists and a flick of the wrist, out pops the blade. Another flick, the blade's inside the handle again.

Your Beer-Fu is weak! Your Frat-boy style is no match for my Bottlefly style!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

PNC Christmas Price Index

PNC Christmas Price Index
The True Cost of the 12 Days of Christmas...

It all started 21 years ago as a way to engage clients and has since grown into one of PNC’s most popular and anticipated economic reports: The Annual PNC Christmas Price Index.

PNC calculates the Christmas Price Index each year as a fun, lighthearted way to look at the increasing cost of goods and services bought by the True Love in the holiday classic, “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

This one's from The Wife...

Pretty funny. This investing firm has been calculating the cost of Christmas since '84 by adding up all the items in the partridge in a pear tree song. Check out the flash presentation.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Time to get Medieval!

En Garde! The Safe Bedside Table - Gizmodo
Let’s get all hypothetical for a second. Pretend you’re sleeping at home and some dude breaks in and is going to rob you/kill you. How will you defend yourself quickly? Enter the Safe Bedside Table, a genius creation from designer James McAdam. What looks like a simple, basic table at first, quickly becomes a shield and sword ready for your defense.

How awesome is this?!?! I gotta get one. They even made it out of Cherry wood (my personal favorite).

Sunday, December 18, 2005


santa  and his gun
Santas Go on Rampage in New Zealand City - Yahoo! News
WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A group of 40 people dressed in Santa Claus costumes, many of them drunk, rampaged through New Zealand's largest city, robbing stores and assaulting security guards, police said Sunday.

The rampage, dubbed "Santarchy" by local newspapers, began early Saturday afternoon when the men, wearing ill-fitting Santa costumes, threw beer bottles and urinated on cars from an Auckland overpass, said Auckland Central Police spokeswoman Noreen Hegarty.

She said the men then rushed through a central city park, overturning garbage containers, throwing bottles at passing cars and spraying graffiti on buildings.

Bwahaha! Tis the season to be....rampageous? Merry fucking christmas everyone.

Strip Club owner Joe Redner is out - Out of the closet that is

News Stories - Tampa Bay's 10 News - Strip Club owner Joe Redner is out
Joe Redner, Owner Mons Venus:
"I'm gay, well gay could mean anything, I'm a homosexual."

Redner first made the admission in his federal lawsuit against the Hillsborough County Commission which banned homosexual themed events and exhibits in public libraries. It is an ironic admission given that Redner has surrounded himself with thousands of nude women over the years as the owner of the infamous Mons Venus Nude Club.

Joe Redner:
"In order to show that homosexuals are being denigrated, I've got to be one. But isn't the timing of all this somewhat convenient? Yea, it is, but I never had to come before, I never had a reason to, now I do."

Now for some local news. Down here in backwards ass Tampa, Florida we don't let dem dare homo's have parades or nothin'! So fightin' Joe got pissed and sued the Hillsborough County Commision. The case gets tossed because he isn't personally effected. The result. Joe comes out of the closet and refiles the suit.
Joe Redner has been fighting for freedom of expression for years now and it doesn't look like he is stopping.

Is he really gay? Dunno. A few people are saying he is just claiming it to further his political agenda. Since one of them is Ronda Storms (winner of Clubbing Baby Seals Supreme-Uber-Mega-Bitch award) I'm inclined to believe Joe. Apparently so is the Tampa gay community since they threw him a coming out party.

Go Joe! (Sorry, couldn't resist the G.I. Joe reference)

Chromed Voodoo

Voodoo_Knife_Block_Chrome_l - Chromed Voodoo
The blogosphere’s favorite knife holder is back, this time in a chrome version (a “pretty rad alternative,” says the promotional copy). This Voodoo Knife Block Chrome Limited Edition is available in Australia, and it comes with five stainless steel knives included. Pre-orders for the limited-edition January ’06 run are being taken now.

Voodoo knife holder also available in chrome!

Wipe Your Ass with Clubbing Baby Seals!

OhGizmo! - The RSStroom Reader, Feeds On Your Toilet Paper
I haven’t been this excited about any product in quite some time. Combining your RSS addiction with your daily trip to the can has never been easier, with the RSStroom Reader, from Yi Tien Electronics. It’s this crazy machine that hooks up to your computer wirelessly, and prints random RSS posts right to your toilet paper, for you to read before you, eh, use it.

Ok, it is probably a hoax. But damn funny nonetheless. Besides, can you think of a better use for the drivel I keep posting?

Shakespeare Remote Control Bust

shakespeare remote control bust
Shakespeare Remote Control Bust -
POW! BLAM! ZOWIE! HOLY-SWITCHEROO!... Possibly the most famous prop from one of the most well-known television shows in history! The bust stands 21 1/2 inches tall, exactly like the original. They are made of roto-cast resin and finished in metalized antique bronze paint.

Tip the head back and IT WORKS! Simply plug in any small appliance: lamp, TV, stereo, lighted collectible showcase, etc... use your imagination!

Holy bodacious bust Batman! This is freakin' awesome. I want one!

Voodoo Doll Toothpick Holder

ouch - Voodoo Doll Toothpick Holder
Looking for a clever way to make sure your enemies get served? This Voodoo Doll Toothpick Holder should do the trick. The solid figurine holds up to 35 toothpicks, and it comes in either charcoal grey or oyster white with hand-painted X-ed out eyes.

Sweeeet! Don't forget to pick up the matching Voodoo knife holder (on right) too!

Avenging Unicorn Playset

MILITANTPLATYPUS - Avenging Unicorn Playset
Everyone needs an imaginary unicorn friend that they can call forth to smite their enemies. The Avenging Unicorn Play Set has everything you need to use the power of the unicorn to rid your life of irritations!

Ummm...well. Now here is something I didn't realize there was a market for. I really hope this is for adults. The impale-able (is so a word!) mime was a nice touch though.

The Blowfly Alarm Clock Is Here

Move Over MIT, The Blowfly Alarm Clock Is Here - Gizmodo
When the alarm activates, it spins a propeller and flies up above you making ridiculous noises. The only way to stop it is to wake up, grab it, and set it back down in its docking station. Designed by Ena Macana, the Blowfly won third prize at the 2005 Taiwan International Design Competition.

Only a proof of concept design but very cool. Of course we will never see it in production on account of all the lawsuits that would result. Probably a lot of fun for those that sleep with ceiling fans on. Beep. Beep. Whhhhrrr. Whack!

Incompatible Species Finger Puppets - Democrat vs. Republican

incompatible species
"Incompatible Species Finger Puppets - Democrat vs. Republican - Plum Party Supplies & Favors
Entertain guests with a political debate reenactment featuring this Incompatible Species finger puppet set. Or, use the Democratic donkey and Republican elephant symbols to solve political disputes with an old-fashioned thumb war. $12.00

The Wife says:
Honey, I found the perfect gift for the Schram-man! (Editors Note: Name changed to protect those with lame musical taste and dubious political leanings) Then he could have arguments with himself when no one else wants to play.

Sony Draws Ire With PSP Graffiti

antisony sony sucks
Wired News: Sony Draws Ire With PSP Graffiti
Seeking to market its handheld game device to hip city dwellers, Sony has hired graffiti artists in major urban areas to spray-paint buildings with simple, totemic images of kids playing with the gadget. But the guerrilla marketing gambit appears to be drawing scorn from some of the street-savvy hipsters it's striving to win over.

Ah, good 'ol Sony. You always make me laugh. Who would have thought paying people to do Sony graffiti would backfire? These kinda things are just impossible to predict. Natch.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Strange New Products: Cheetos Lip Balm

Strange New Products: Cheetos Lip Balm
Cheetos Lip Balm is exactly that, lip balm that tastes like Cheetos.

It's made by New York, NY based Lotta Luv LLC.

In fact, Lotta Luv makes all kinds of co-branded lip balm products. Check out their A&W Root Beer lip balm, Hostess Twinkie lip balm, or their Jelly Belly lip balms. They've got a bunch of others. I want this on my lips about as much as I want to go down on Paris Hilton. Gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it.

Props to Strange New Products. I don't know where he/she gets this stuff but it is amazing the completely wacked shit he/she (see, I'm politically correct) finds.

Diet Coke and Mentos reaction

YouTube - Diet Coke and Mentos reaction
Holy crap! Check out what happens when you put mentos into Diet Coke. Videos here and here.

Edgy Internet TV helps writers reach mainstream

PluggedIn:Edgy Internet TV helps writers reach mainstream - Yahoo! News
Michael Jackson could destroy smooth music forever, and it's up to the members of Toto to stop him. But first, they must convince fellow adult-contemporary titans Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald to bury the hatchet.

That's the latest episode of "Yacht Rock," a witty Internet TV show that has attracted nearly 150,000 viewers and given creator J.D. Ryznar a foot in the door in Hollywood.

"For somebody with no money and no connections it's a great way to get your work out," Ryznar said.

And the final post in our film theme this morning.

This seems like a better approach than blind emailing your script to movie execs. Don't forget to check out Rocketboom that I mentioned in a previous post.

Thinking Outside the Box Office

Wired 13.12: Thinking Outside the Box Office
When Steven Soderbergh releases his next film on January 27, it will have not only the critics squawking, but Hollywood studio execs, too. Bubble, an all-digital thriller, is set in an Ohio doll factory, and all of the actors are completely unknown. But that's not even the interesting part. The movie goes out to theaters, DVD, and high-definition cable TV - all on the same day. It's an experiment that threatens to uproot the film industry's long-standing "release window" formula, which staggers a picture's release on various platforms to maximize profits.

More movie stuff for the Schram-man. This ought to be intresting. Hey, it is a way better response than the RIAA sue freakin' everyone approach.

Blogger, Movie Studio Spar Over E-mail List

Blogger, Movie Studio Spar Over E-mail List - Yahoo! News
blogger who posted e-mail addresses for movie studio agents, producers, and executives has drawn the ire of Universal Studios, while setting off debates about what constitutes spam and whether e-mail addresses are public.

In addition to drawing traffic to, the dispute has gained coverage on a cinema blog site. A dozen responses to the news were split among supporters and critics of Jones' actions. Some saying the movie industry should welcome ideas given the quality of recent films. One respondent said e-mails are like phone numbers. Another said the industry has to protect itself from claims of theft by people whose ideas could be similar to those in upcoming releases.

There ya go Schram-man. A quick and easy way to get scripts read and/or get black-listed for life. I'm sure they actually read the scripts and all. No way they would just delete them. Of course they read them. Honest.

Foot-Long 'Snoop Doggs' Coming To Grocery Stores

Dad's Hot Dog : Foot-Long 'Snoop Doggs' Coming To Grocery Stores
Snoop Dogg recently inked a deal with Platinum One Media to launch a new business with the rapper – foot-long hot dogs.

According to the Boston Herald, the rapper’s latest venture is "Snoop Doggs," a new hot dog line launching with partners Franco Petrucci and Jeff Earp.

Earp is a former owner of a Joe & Nemo’s in Massachutsetts, a popular hot dog business that was started in 1909.

"There aren't any celebrity hot dogs out there," Snoop’s brother and business manager Bing Worthington told the Herald. "Who’s the competition? Ball Park?....Imagine a long, skinny hot dog just like Snoop."

The rapper’s line of hot dogs is being made in Massachusetts and will hit grocery stores in January.

Poor Dad needs a foot long "Snoop Dogg", at least that's what Mom said. Really, I think the article speaks for itself.

Note to marketers: The last thing I want to think of while eating a hot dog is Snoop Dogg. Seriously.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

UPDATE: Stapp Addresses Thanksgiving Spat

Stapp Addresses Thanksgiving Spat
"This is a very unfortunate situation; however, there are two sides to every story," Stapp says in his statement, issued last night (Dec. 7), nearly a week after requested comment about the incident. "I was at the hotel celebrating Thanksgiving and my engagement with my new fiancée when the fight started. As the Associated Press reported and confirmed, I did not instigate this altercation."

The AP report to which he is referring quotes the hotel's director of security as saying, "[The fight] was definitely started by 311."

An update to my previous post.
Praise Jesus! I know our savior Scrappy-Doo didn't start the fight. That would be most un-Christian of him.
All right fine. Nobody believes him. But hey, at least I got to post that most excellent picture again.

Homemade Kahlua Recipe: Dual Buzz

Homemade Kahlua Recipe: Dual Buzz | Liquor Snob
We're buzzing over here, but it's not from our typical mid-morning constitutional's the anticipation of caffeine jitters. That's right, move over, Kahlua...we've just found a recipe for home-made coffee liqueur that looks like it's as easy as it is tasty. Our good friend Rob sent it along, and he says it tastes we love any recipe that calls for grain alcohol in gallon increments (even if it's partial gallons).

Homemade Kahlua Recipe
1/5 gallon Grain Alcohol
8C Water
2C Dark Brown Sugar
1C Honey
½C Instant Coffee (Don’t buy generic)
6 Tbsp Vanilla (Use real bourbon vanilla, not the imitation crap)

Heat water, sugar, and honey until melted.
Add coffee crystals and simmer 30 minutes.
Cool to 110 degrees and add vanilla.
Let set for at least 30 minutes, stirring frequently.
Add alcohol and stir well.
***Do Not Bring To A Boil***

I mentioned this one the other night. Looks very tasty.

FiOS TV invades Florida

FiOS TV invades Florida
Verizon will apply some more competitive pressure to Bright House Networks as it rolls out its FiOS TV service to about 21,000 people in Temple Terrace, Fla., a city northeast of Tampa.

Temple Terrace marks the first area in the state to see Verizon's video service. Verizon expects to offer FiOS TV in its other Florida service territories sometime next year, including parts of unincorporated Manatee County.

Fucking FIOS bastards. My mom has god damn FIOS and they still haven't dug the first fucking trench out here. I hate them. I want my FIOS! Dig you bastards! Dig!

Flying Digital Camera On Sale At Wal-Mart

rc airplane
THE RAW FEED: Flying Digital Camera On Sale At Wal-Mart
What's the coolest thing you can buy at Wal-Mart? It very well may be this RC airplane with built-in DIGITAL CAMERA. You take pictures from the plane by pressing a button on the remote. It's perfect for gadget geeks who already have everything else, nosy kids and peeping toms.

I don't know if this qualifies as a useful stalker tool or not but it is pretty cool. Can't find diddly shit on the specs, but it is from our friends over at Estes. Don't forget to check out thier hydrogen powered rocket too.

Top Ten ways to ‘Freak out’ your roommate

MILITANTPLATYPUS - Top Ten ways to ‘Freak out’ your roommate
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate’s potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate’s potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, “He just didn’t belong.”

This one is for Marz. The Ritalin Kid won't move out (she won't let us help "move him out") and I thought these tips might help motivate him.
Head over to Militant Platypus (which is quickly becoming one of my favorite sites) for the rest of the tips.

Kill Bunny

Kill Bunny is a mix of xioxio and fluffy, with a heavy helping of gore. Definately nsfw

Oh my, definitely not safe for work! Damn funny though.

Comedian Richard Pryor dies at 65

Comedian Richard Pryor dies at 65 - Yahoo! News
Richard Pryor, who helped transform comedy with biting commentary on race and often profane reflections on his own shortcomings, died on Saturday at age 65 after a long illness, his wife and associates said.

Pryor died of heart failure on Saturday morning after efforts to resuscitate him failed and after he was taken to a hospital in the Los Angeles suburb of Encino, his wife, Jennifer Pryor, told CNN.

Pryor had been suffering from multiple sclerosis, a degenerative nervous system disease, for almost 20 years.

I don't know if my frequent use of profanity tipped you off but I am/was heavily influenced by the less than politically correct humor of the 70's and 80's. Bill Cosby was funny, but Richard and Eddie made me laugh so hard it hurt. We'll miss you Richard.
Ain't this a fucking depressing way to start off a morning?

Naughty Nads Bikini Design Kit

naughty nads
Strange New Products: Naughty Nads Bikini Design Kit
Available in New Zealand is "Naughty Nads Bikini Design Kit". It's a "bikini area" depilatory kit that comes with four templates to create fun and shapely designs.

Naughty Nads uses a hot wax application to remove unwanted pubic hair. You first apply the template of your choice, then apply the wax.

Templates include, "love heart", "lightning bolt", "landing strip", and "bermuda triangle".

The kit contains a 140g jar of Mango & Peach-scented bikini wax along with spatulas, orange sticks, soothing and finishing wipes, and an extensive instruction booklet.

Damn. Ok, I don't care if you guys are into this or not, this article is not for you (I know hard to believe isn't it?). No, this one is for the ladies.

Seriously ladies, what the hell? Why would you do this?!? I don't give a rats ass if some guys think it looks sexy. If a chick told me she thought a heart ripped out of my pubes with hot wax looked good...well, fine. I'd probably do it. But that 's the point! I'm a guy. I don't know if you women have been paying attention, but we ain't the brightest things on the planet (and that's before throwing sex into the mix). Honestly, I don't know why you all aren't lesbians. You straight chicks out there must have some serious issues.

Ok, fine. If you think it looks nice and you are willing to put up with the discomfort, be my guest. If a guy wants you to, counter with "two guys shaving each others cocks really makes me hot" and see how long the conversation last.

Stainless Steel Biometric Fingerprint Wall Vault

Bio---Open---Bedroom-model- - Stainless Steel Biometric Fingerprint Wall Vault
The stainless steel Secure Logic Biometric Fingerprint Wall Vault does pretty much what you would imagine, securing your belongings within a steel vault that can only be opened with one of up to six user fingerprints. Simple to install, the 15.5″ (l) x 16.25″ (w) x 4.5″ (d) vault will mount on any wall, between two 16” center studs, and it runs on a rechargeable battery, so there is no need for wiring of any kind

Well, this one is for Baa. Not this this teeny safe will hold all his guns or anything, but it is pretty cool (Editor's note: This might hold his current collection).
Almost $500 for the biometric one. They do have a keypad one for $299. I dunno, seems kinda pricey.

Office Gun Built from Binder Clips

office gun
Hack-A-Day Extra - Office Gun Built from Binder Clips -
This was the first advanced gun and was constructed by Geir. It is made by assembling several Mauly clips and a thick rubber band and has tremendous firepower. With a regular pencil as projectile it can penetrate thick cardboard and empty soda cans. Never point this gun at anyone!

This gun is not practical for random battles, but more of a gun for the determined assassin. This gun IS dangerous!

Yeowch. Ah, fun at the office. Pretty bad ass for $5 worth of office supplies.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

MII Flashcam—Stalker's Best Friend

MII Flashcam—Stalker's Best Friend - Gizmodo
Okay, this isn't as good for stalkers and peeping toms as much as it’s great for tactical/law enforcement types. The MII Flashcam appears to be a mild-mannered flashlight. Looks can be deceiving because this flashlight is fully loaded. This flashlight features a conveniently-mounted camera that can record video up to 640x480 and take snapshots at 3 megapixels. It also features LED infrared illumination, standard 85,000 candle power flashlight and a 1.5” TFT-LCD screen for playback and viewing of pictures.

Speaking of stalking tools. Fine, it probably is more useful for rent-a-cops. Can you imagine the embarrassment when you are trying to record some chick changing and hit the 85,000 candle power flashlight instead of the infrared?
Hey, does this mean I have to be more respectful to rent-a-cops? I hate rent-a-cops.

CarChipE/X with Alarm alerts teens of driving indiscretions

car chip
CarChipE/X with Alarm alerts teens of driving indiscretions - Engadget -
The device has been around for a while, mounting under your dash and tracking all sorts of things like car speed and RPM, sudden braking and acceleration, distance traveled, and fuel usage, which it stores in a 300 hour log. You can then take the CarChip and pull the data to your PC via USB and check on what your car has been up to. Now they’re adding an alarm functionality to alert the driver when they go above preset maximums for speed, braking, and acceleration, which we’re sure will annoy that drag racing teen of yours.

Ouch. Big brother for your daughter/son. As a privacy advocate I find this device appalling. As a parent, I have to resist the urge to buy this right now in case they stop making them when my daughter is old enough to drive. Really parents, this is a bad idea.
However, this might make an excellent addition to my collection of useful stalker tools.

Pudding Shot Recipe Found

Breaking News: Pudding Shot Recipe Found | Liquor Snob
Pudding Shots

1 small pkg. INSTANT choc. pudding
3/4 C. milk
1/4 C. Vodka
1/2 C. Irish Cream
8 oz. Extra Creamy Cool Whip

Mix pudding and milk for a couple of minutes with an electric mixer, then add alcohol, mix well. Mix in Cool Whip.

Put into individual serving cups with lids and I furnish plastic spoons. Keep in the freezer.

All right, way behind on the posting so here we go....

Initially I thought pudding shots? Ummm sounds kinda gross. But after reading the ingredients they actually sound kinda good. Warning! I suspect they may have the same side effects as Jello shots. You have been warned!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Free Wi-fi Prompts BellSouth to Withdraw Donation

Slashdot | Free Wi-fi Prompts BellSouth to Withdraw Donation
"Shortly after learning of the New Orleans plan for free city-wide wireless internet, Bellsouth Corp. withdrew an offer to donate a damaged building to be used for police headquarters. According to the Washington Post, 'Bill Oliver, angrily rescinded the offer of the building in a conversation with New Orleans homeland security director Terry Ebbert.'"

No, I'm not going on another political rant, but I had to post this one. So like, geee, who thinks this is a savy public relations move? I'm just sayin'. Might not be the brightest move. So can we say they are pulling a Cruise yet, or is it too early?

Russian Climbing

and flipping, and jumping, and scaling, and running, and, and, and…

This is a must see! It's a video from Google video of these Russian guys doing the most insane/stunning/unbelievable stunts (think The Crow where Brandon Lee was running across the roofs) you've ever seen!

Seriously, go check it out! Don't make me go all 311 on your ass!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

USB Air Darts!

Target your co-workers with USB air darts - Engadget -
Powered by your mac or pc, you'll have hours of flying fun with these USB air darts. Let the mission begin!

* Control the aim and the firing mechanism of the darts via your computer mouse
* Cylindrical base
* 3 darts
* USB powered
* Software included

How awsome is this?!?!

Buffalo debuts 2TB model of TeraStation NAS - Engadget -

Buffalo debuts 2TB model of TeraStation NAS - Engadget -
Buffalo has introduced a 2TB model to their “TeraStation” line of Network Attached Storage (NAS) devices. The product code on this one is “TS-2.0TGL/R5,” where the R5 refers to the device’s RAID-5 support. It is set to be released in late December in Japan for what equates to about $2,036 USD. You’ll find an ethernet interface with 10Base-T, 100Base-T, and 1000Base-T support alongside two USB 2.0 ports. Just to give you an idea, on a network of 10 computers, 2TB would allow each user to have just over 200GB of storage space (MATH). Not too shabby if you ask us, but given Buffalo’s track record with the TeraStation line, you may want to hold off until a review or two comes in.

Two terabytes of storage. I still can't shake the image of my old 40 Megabyte MFM hard drive.

Flash Boot

Flash Boot. - The Red Ferret Journal
A self-contained software tool to quickly and easily create bootable USB flash drives. If you’ve ever fancied carrying around your own computer on a keychain, this may be what you’re looking for. $26.00/€19.95.

Finally! An easy to use program for my non-existent USB flash drive! Now that my Sake USB drive has been arbitrarily vetoed. I don't think I'll have a use for this, dammit.

BuzzTrainer - USB Shock Therapy

THE RAW FEED: BuzzTrainer - USB Shock Therapy Gadget
Taiyo's BuzzTrainer harnesses the power of USB to SHOCK YOU into incoherence for the greater good of self improvement. It's a self-training device that uses negative feedback in the form of electrical shocks to the wrist. The product comes with tutorials for Windows XP, Microsoft Word and Internet Explorer -- presumably to train yourself to master these applications. You can also use it to punish yourself for bad behavior -- such as wasting time on The Raw Feed when you're supposed to be working! ZAAAAAAP!

So I was helping my Mom the other day with her computer....
Yeah, that phrase never ends well. To make matters worse, my Mom is one of those people who willfully decides to not understand anything about computers. Like the difference between Gmail and Earthlink. In the process of bitching to the wife this pops up in my RSS reader. Is this a sign?

The Butter Wizard

Welcome to The Butter Wizard
The ButterWizard is THE must-have kitchen innovation….
The ButterWizard is the world’s first fully portable Temperature Controlled Butter Dish, which both heats and cools regardless of ambient temperature, ensuring your butter stays at the perfect temperature for spreading – anytime, anywhere.

The latest gadget to make the rounds on the blogs. Most blogs seem to be making fun of it. Not me. I think it's brilliant! I don't know if it is $60 worth of brilliant, but it is way cool. Keeps your butter fresher, longer and it is spreadable too. Good show you cheeky Brits!