GhostFace Killah Doll

GhostFace Killah Doll - Gizmodo

For $500, the GhostFace Killah Doll comes with a real 14k gold chain, a gold chalice with Swarovski crystals, a special mixtape, original recordings of GFK’s catchphrases, and a 1 in 500 chance to hang out with the Killah himself in person.

Ummmm....wow. And here I was thinking the Freddy Mercury action figure was a waste of money. Now I'm thinking at $50 bucks that is a freakin' bargain. Seriously, $500 for a fucking doll!?!? That is whack! (yeah, I had to go there)

Bike Frame Uses Nanotube Technology

Bike Frame Uses Nanotube Technology, Light as Five Cellphones - Gizmodo

Carbon Nanotube (CNT) technology is making lots of things possible that were never dreamed of before, for instance, this bike frame on the BMC SLC01 Pro Machine that weighs 2.1 lb., or about as much as five cellphones.

Daaaaaaamn. More uses for those handy dandy nanotubes.

WarmX Electric Underwear

WarmX Electric Underwear - Gizmodo

But now WarmX has developed a line of electrically-heated skivvies that solve all those problems, using special conducting thread that’s woven directly into the cloth to keep you warm.
Running on lithium-ion batteries, these undershirts for men and women will keep you comfortable even in the coldest weather for two to five hours.

Like I was gonna pass this one up?

Lazy Drinker

Lazy Drinker | Liquor Snob

The Lazy Drinker quite simply is a computer controlled mixed cocktail dispensing device. It's designed to hold 16 ingredients and multiple units can be chained together to get more. By using a series of pressurized valves, the ingredients are mixed automatically by your computer perfectly every time. With a database of over 5000 drinks, you'll have plenty to choose from.

Freakin' awesome! Well, at $750 it is at least very cool, if pricey. With video of course...

Helicopter Robot Armed With Shotgun

THE RAW FEED: Helicopter Robot Armed With Shotgun

Some knuckleheads in Huntsville, Alabama, have irresponsibly outfitted an AutoCopter mini helicopter robot, made by Neural Robotics Incorporated, with a 12-gauge SHOTGUN. They call it the "AutoCopter Gunship".

Only in Alabama. By the way, that is a fully automatic 12 gague shotgun. Head over to The Raw Feed for the link to the Video!

Keep off the Ass?

MILITANTPLATYPUS - Found
Love it!

What would MacGyver do?

MILITANTPLATYPUS - MacGyver knows all

MacGyver has made it into wikipedia. The entry is a list of problems that Macgyver has solved, using his own special brand of ingenuity. The entries list the problem, solution, and whether the solution has been verified.

Pretty cool. I remember thinking Mac was the man back in the day. Sure some of the solutions are not quite as feasible as I remember, but props to Mac for making science cool.

I can’t drive 55

MILITANTPLATYPUS - I can’t drive 55

There are a lot of sections of highway in the US that have a speed limit of 55mph. A group decided to do an experiment, and drove four cars abreast (taking up all available lanes) at 55mph (the legal speed limit). What resulted is unfortunately not to surprising.

Awesome video! One of the funniest/disturbing things I've seen this year. You should see the shit people do to get around them.

Smartvue V2 -- automatically configuring IP video surveillance

Smartvue V2 -- automatically configuring IP video surveillance - Engadget

Smartvue is releasing their new Smartvue S2 IP video surveillance system that offers MIMO wireless connectivity and automatic configuration of up to 10 cameras. The system can record at "DVD resolution" and automatically records to a 80GB or 250GB Digital Video Manager that can connect over a tethered-LAN or wirelessly. Smartvue allows for remote monitoring and administration via a PC or cellphone, and offers security via a 128 bit encrypted USB key.

Up to 10 cameras dumping to a 250 GB hard drive automagically. You know what that means folks. That's right. Another Handy Stalker Tool!

Toilet Water or Ice?

United Press International - Florida kids win science fair top prizes

Jasmine Roberts, 12, won a top prize in Florida's Hillsborough County's regional science fair Wednesday for her project "How Safe Is Fast-Food Restaurants' Ice?"

She compared bacteria found in ice from fast-food restaurants with toilet water from the same restaurants. Her results showed 70 percent of the time, the ice held more bacteria than the toilet water, the Tampa Bay (Fla.) Tribune reported Thursday.

So I saw the byline and thought "Finally, something not totally frickin' wacked happening in Florida. Some nice little Tampa kid won a science fair isn't that great?" Not.

I know. I should know better. Well, she did win the science fair. The bitch. Isn't there some kinda rule that if you tell a bunch of people something they really didn't want to know they get to kill you? Well, there should be. Dammit. Now I'm gonna have to drink warm soda.

Радость глазу звездочета. / ИОН цифровой центр

Радость глазу звездочета. / ИОН цифровой центр

Настоящий подарок сделали японцы наблюдателям за ночным небом.

Японская компания Kenko представила USB-приставку для телескопа. Теперь не нужно, как пoрежде, одним глазом устало обозревать доступный участок Вселенной. Достаточно

Whoa. Totally cool. We got linked to a Russian site. Of course I don't read Russian so he could be calling me a total asshat, but even if he is, it looks way cooler in Russian.

Cut'n'Chuck Chopping Board

Cut'n'Chuck Chopping Board | Kitchen Contraptions.com

Imagine the hijinks that will ensue with this cutting board. Everyone loves a "I just cut my finger off" joke. The cutting board is made with tempered safety glass and has non-slip feet.

That is just awesome.

Nokia Spy Safetyphone

Nokia Spy Safetyphone

Fancy pulling off some espionage activities? Though these Nokia phones look like their normal counterparts, you can actually leave them alone on the table and head off. When no phone movement is detected, you will receive an SMS – this is the cue when you can give the spyphone a call and it will answer automatically, transmitting all that’s being said within a radius of 10 metres. The phone will not ring nor blink, so there’s no way someone will know you’re listening in! The Nokia Spy Safetyphone is not cheap at €969.00 upwards

Looks like another Handy Stalker Tool. Now you can eavesdrop on conversations from anywhere in the world with just a phone call. All for the bargain price of $1700.00!! Holy crap! Well, nobody said being a stalker was cheap.

Dog Beer

MILITANTPLATYPUS - Happy Tail

“Non-alcoholic, with a hint of beef!” - Now that is a tagline to end all taglines!

The product pitch...

Yes, it’s beer! But, it’s for dogs.

Non-alcoholic and non-carbonated, our Happy Tail Ale is the ultimate liquid refreshment for your best friend. Our brew is made with choice malted barley and filtered water, featuring all-natural beef flavorings. Plus, it’s fortified with Glucosamine and Vitamin E!

Beer for dogs. Guess that kinda says it all. I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now.

Firefox 1.5.01 Fix

MILITANTPLATYPUS-Firefox 1.5.01 Fix

If you upgraded to Firefox 1.5.01, you may have noticed that not all of your extensions made the jump. Here is the fix!

Worked for me. As some of you may have noticed my spell checker plugin didn't make the upgrade. Fortunately (for me and my poor readers) this easy little hack fixed it right up. Follow the link.

Shower Clock Radio With... Spy Camera?

Shower Clock Radio With... Spy Camera? - Gizmodo

OK. This is kind of creepy. It’s a $189 water resistant clock radio with CD player and there’s a color spy camera built into it for… spying on people taking showers?

Ummm...wow. I guess they have given up all pretense at products aimed at "security" and gone straight for the voyeur stuff. A Handy Stalker Tool? Yes indeed.

Funny Dog Picture

Funny Dog Pictures
Sorry, seem to have a low sense of humor this morning. Still, it is kinda funny. Unfortunately, the rest of the page are those stupid cute animal pictures. Maybe the ladies will enjoy it.

The Cat Piano

The Cat Piano - Gizmodo

The cat piano was the work of a German scholar over 350 years ago. Athanasius Kircher designed the cat piano and documented it in the Musurgia Universalis in 1650. The piano was designed to raise the spirits of an Italian prince who was too stressed out. The musician would select cats whose voices were at different pitches then arrange them in the pens accordingly. The piano delivered sharp pokes into the tails of the cats.

What? Sorry, I seem to be suffering from a low sense of humor this evening. Still it is kinda funny. Especially if you consider what kind of "scholar" thought the sounds of screeching cats would cheer someone up. Gah.

Shoes Designed to Help Border Crossers - Gizmodo

Shoes Designed to Help Border Crossers - Gizmodo

They’re called Brincos, and they’re shoes designed to help illegal immigrants cross the U.S.-Mexican border. Designed by Argentinean artist Judi Werthein, these shoes feature an array of items designed to make the dangerous trip across the border a little less so. There’s a built-in compass, a pouch inside the tongue used to store aspirin and a map of popular routes going from Tijuana to San Diego on the insole.

Hehehehe. Aw come on, you gotta admit that's kinda funny.

IBM squeezes more into microchips

BBC NEWS-IBM squeezes more into microchips

The methods used by the scientists at IBM's Almaden Research Center in San Jose, California, uses a method called deep-ultraviolet optical lithography.

This is essentially the method used to etch circuits on chips. The IBM team said they were able to "print" circuits that are 29.9 nanometres wide.

This is about one-third of the width of the smallest computer circuits in mass production today. One nanometre is a billionth of a metre.

Just in case you were worried that Moore's Law wouldn't hold up any longer. Looks like ol' blue pulled off a neat trick and bought us a few more years.

TorPark - Surveillance Free Surfing

TorPark

TorPark is a fantastic piece of free 3rd party software that is able to turn any Internet terminal into a secure connection, thus ensuring you can do your Internet banking transactions in peace even within a cybercafe. Just download TorPark in the language of your choice and store it in a USB flashdrive. Plug it in any compatible PC, and TorPark will run automatically – securing your connection via an encrypted tunnel.

Sweet. Finally an easy way to outsmart The Man. Naturally I am l33t enough to configure Tor myself, but why go through the hassle if you don't have to? I told you I was lazy didn't I?

Anyway, as a bonus this can be loaded on a USB thumb drive to make all your porn...err...surfing surveillance free.

New RC Super Gun to Arm Killer Robots

THE RAW FEED: New RC Super Gun to Arm Killer Robots

Rise of the Machines: Metal Storm Limited and Electro Optic Systems Holdings have demonstrated a crazy new weapon they jointly developed called the RedBack. It's a remote control machine gun that shoots massive, 40mm rounds designed for, among other things, arming KILLER ROBOTS. The companies say the gun can take out three targets in 1.2 seconds -- including fast-moving incoming missiles. They expect to have it operational by the end of 2007.

Frickin' awesome! 40mm's of exploding goodness. Head over to the Raw Feed for a link to the video.

Public Satellites Pics Reveal Chinese Secrets

THE RAW FEED: Public Satellites Pics Reveal Chinese Secrets

Publicly available satellite photos are starting to reveal military installations and programs denied by the Chinese government. The most recent issue of Imaging Notes, a satellite photo newsletter, features an article called "The World's First Look at China's Underground Facilities for Nuclear Warheads."

Whoops.

Utensil Pot Clip

Utensil Pot Clip | Kitchen Contraptions.com

Here is a cool alternative to the spoon rest. This clips onto the side of your pan and holds your utensil over the pan, so the drippings go back into the pan. The clip has a silicone coating, so it doesn't burn your fingers, and pads that protect the pan from scratching.

This actually looks kind of useful. Seems like a better alternative to one of those spoon caddy things.

Google puts National Archives video online

Google puts National Archives video online | CNET News.com

The content represents the first fruits of a joint project aimed at putting as much of the National Archives' video content as possible online.

In this first batch are dozens of newsreels, films on the early 1930s park service, and National Air and Space Administration documentaries on space travel. A must-see includes Orson Welles reading from H.G. Wells' "War of the Worlds," before discussing the likelihood of extraterrestrial life "beyond the petty surface of our own minute sphere."

Now this is cool. This sort of thing should have been done a long time ago. I wonder when we will get the mega-fun reefer madness and duck and cover stuff?

PC Multifunction Panel with Remote

ThinkGeek :: PC Multifunction Panel with Remote

Product Features & Specs

* Remote Control Buttons: Power On and Reset
* Panel Input Power: 5VSB DC, and 12VDC
* Remote Control Input Power: Alkaline Batteries
* Remote Range: 15ft
* Fan Control: 3 Pin
* Temperature Sensor: 2 Independent Sensors and Meters
* Antenna:Single Telescopic Antenna Included
* Dimension: 14.7 x 4.2 x 10cm, 5.75'x 1.63" x 5.94" (LxWxD)

Well, I'm not sure about this one. Even I'm not that lazy (and that is a hell of a statement).

All right. Fine. I am that lazy. I just can't think of when this would be very useful. Plus I'd have to keep track of the remote. Yeeeeeah. That's gonna happen.

GPS TrackStick

TrackStick - Ubergizmo

The TrackStick is a GPS tracking device that is roughly the size of an iPod Shuffle. One can program it to record the location, speed, and direction at specific intervals and view the 3D mapping and satellite imaging when needed. It’s a fantastic way to keep track of your kids or even keep an eye on your employees who seem to be claiming more mileage than they should. Powered by 2 AAA batteries, the TrackStick works for 5 to 7 days before a change of batteries are required

Boy, it is looking like a bumper year for Handy Stalker Tools. More stalking fun than you can shake a (track) stick at.

Voice Vault Toy Safe

Off Limits Voice Vault Toy lock box

Biometric security measures such as fingerprinting could be a thing of the past soon with the $30 Off Limits Voice Vault Toy lock box. In order to gain access to the contents within, you will have to speak the correct password in a matching voice.

Wow, how bad do kids today suck? So growing up I get a safe that looks like this...

And my kids get a voice activated uber safe. Sometimes life just ain't fair.

Uber Minivan

Nissan Terranaut

The Nissan Terranaut is one futuristic looking SUV. Having a seat capacity of 3, that might turn some family-minded buyers off but bear in mind it comes with a fully-fledged computer lab and a 360 degree swivel chair. Suicide doors like those found in the old Cadees were incorporated at the rear of the vehicle for an easy entry.

Damn. I've never wanted a mini-van before. I feel dirty.

Breaking news: Sony's UMDs aren't selling well

Breaking news: Sony's UMDs aren't selling well - Engadget

Warner's nixing six future UMD titles, stating they're "disappointed with consumer demand [in UMD] at this time." Virgin, UMD's biggest buyer to date, isn't making more room for new UMDs, either, stating "the overall impact of the format has still been nominal."

Buhahaha! Man I just love Sony and their proprietary bullshit. I wonder why it isn't selling well? Just because it only plays on Sony PSP? Nahhhh. Mini-disc good idea! You try again!

RFID Tags Hackable With Cellphone

RFID tags attackable by your cellphone - Engadget

Using these scanning techniques for cracking the crypto wasn't expressly mentioned, but Shamir did announce that a modified cellphone would have more than enough power to attack and compromise all RFID tags in the vicinity.

Ah. Good 'ol RFID. It's a good idea. I promise. No way anyone would abuse them. Nope.

A Handy Stalker Tool? Not yet, but soon. Very soon.

Taser Shotgun

Taser's electrifying new XREP shotgun-fired projectile - Engadget

The new XREP, which stands for Extended Range Electro-Muscular Projectile, contains a fully functional Taser circuit payload inside the shell housing for a 12-gauge shotgun, which is apparently among the most common "shoulder fired launchers" in use by law enforcement and military personnel. Unlike handgun-style Tasers, there is no wire tethering the payload to the gun, which allows for a 30-meter range but takes away the shooter's ability to lead the "non-compliant" around on a de facto leash.

W00t! More taser goodness. It is a shame you lose the "leash", but 30 meters is a hell of a stand off distance.

Digital Telescope

THE RAW FEED: gadgets, games and geeks

A Japanese company called Kenko is offering a USB device called the Digi-Eyepiece that you attach to your TELESCOPE. Then you can watch the sky, record video and take digital pictures with your PC. It's the perfect USB accessory for amateur astronomers and peeping toms.

Now you can make any telescope into a digital voyeur recorder. That's right folks, more Handy Stalker Tools.

Teeny Tiny Hitachi RFID Chip

Teeny Tiny Hitachi RFID Chip: Big Whoop - Gizmodo

Smaller than a grain of salt, Hitachi’s newest RFID chip measures .005 x .005 inches and is 7.5 micrometers thin. Using Silicon-on-Insulator (SOI) technology, it uses an external antenna to receive radio waves (2.45 GHz), and transforms it to energy to wirelessly transmit a 128-bit unique ID number for a high level of authenticity.

Woot! Even smaller RFID chips, oh boy! I'm sure RFID won't be ussed as a Handy Stalker Tool. Nope. RFID is good. RFID make Walmart even cheaper so it must be good. Good RFID.

The Optimus Mini Three

The Optimus mini three sees release - Engadget

(4.6 x 2.0 x 0.7-inches), a price (it's going to go for $100), and some dates (you'll be able to pre-order this week to get yours when the first batch rolls out on May 15th). Oh, and you can also orient it vertically (nice) and play animations up to 5 fps on its 96 x 96 pixel 262k color 0.78 x 0.78 OLED keys.

Wow. This is pretty cool. I have to admit, I saw its big brother the Optimus keyboard (pictured below) go by a while back and didn't bother posting it. I figured it was for sure vapor-ware. Whoops.

I'm just thinking if the mini three keypad thing is gonna be a $100 how much is the keyboard, which all of the keys are OLED displays, going to cost?

Nanotech Battery

MILITANTPLATYPUS - Nanotech Battery

The LEES ultracapacitor has the capacity to overcome this energy limitation by using vertically aligned, single-wall carbon nanotubes - one thirty-thousandth the diameter of a human hair and 100,000 times as long as they are wide. How does it work? Storage capacity in an ultracapacitor is proportional to the surface area of the electrodes.

Daaaaaaamn! Love them nanotubes. Them things are way more useful than a diet crouton for sure. I've been bitching about battery technology for years. Are we finally going to see an advancement? We shall see, but personally, I've got faith in them MIT dudes. They do develop some seriously cool shit.

Oh, the short version for those scientifically challenged.

What does this mean? Well, it could mean the battery for you laptop will last 10 years or longer, and could hold a charge for 24 hours!

Freddy Mercury Action Figure

Freddy Mercury 18" Action Figure w/ Sound (MAY PRE-ORDER)

He Will Rock You! Freddie Mercury was a singer, songwriter, and pianist that so far has had no equal in the world of Rock and Roll. With a vocal range that spanned nearly four octaves, Freddie quickly became one of the most celebrated voices around the world.

Freddy Mercury action figure. Really? Yes, really. Why? I dunno.

Why does Hillary Duff have a career? Can't someone give Lohan some pasta? Why do hippies/french have to smell bad? Why does it burn when I pee?

Sometimes shit happens.

Top 10 Gun Safety Tips

IMAO Top 10 Gun Safety Tips ash grey tshirt

10. Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction, such as at a hippy or a communist.

This one's for Baa! Ten helpful tips to keep your use of firearms safe. You can see why I liked the shirt immediately. God damn hippies!

However, unless you are a right wing psycho the rest of the shirts won't really appeal to you.

Shutterbugs in the Dark

News from PC Magazine: Shutterbugs in the Dark

At CES, Korean Company Planet82 demonstrated its eye-popping SMPD (Single Module Photo Detector) image sensor. The sensor's calling card is that it lets cameras take full-color photos or video in the dark—without a flash.

The SMPD is more sensitive to light than other image sensors, making it possible to take clear images even when the light level is less than 0.1 lux. One lux is equivalent to the brightness of a single candle 1 meter away in a dark room.

More Handy Stalker Tools! Stalking in color coming to a neighborhood near you.

Ivanabitch Vodka

Ivanabitch Vodka: Yes, It's Called 'Ivanabitch' | Liquor Snob

They certainly don't shy away from their name over there, with cocktail recipes have names like "Dirty 'Bitch," "Power 'Bitch" and "Twisted 'Bitch." The site has a funny pretty funny tone, where they're daring you to like their product.

Sure it probably taste like ass, but it would be fun to tell the bartender you want a Twisted Bitch.

Contact Us!

Want to contact Clubbing Baby Seals? Now you can! Send us an Email at Coherent.Light666 at gmail.com. Sorry, no mail to link on account of the spam farmers. Send us your hate mail, tips, cease and desist letter, and links!

Don't worry if you lose track of this post. You can get the email address from the Contact Us! link on the sidebar.

Chocolate Filled Diaper

Strange New Products: Diaper-Filled Chocolate

Chocka-Ca-Ca is a chunk of chocolate that comes wrapped up in a real diaper.

Billed as a prank baby shower gift, it comes boxed and bound with a pink, blue, or yellow ribbon, with the phrase "THIS is as sweet as it'll EVER get!"

$4.00 per dirty diaper

Ewwwwww. Now that is just nasty.

Zoto

As I'm sure many of you noticed the photos are now being hosted on Flickr. Why? I'm so glad you asked (Quiet. Somebody had to be stupid enough to ask).

When you are in competition with the worlds largest photo hosting site (Flickr in case you been living Ted Kaczynski style) you need a hook for even a hope of catching up.

Zoto's hook? Charge money to let people post to their blog. Which is kinda strange since Flickr lets you do this for free. Asshats. Do you think they use the same marketing company as Sony?

So, in short, Fuck Zoto. Long live the Flickr!

Vibrating Condoms

Trojan Brand Condoms

The Vibrating Ring

* Safely powered by a small battery enclosed in a soft rubber casing
* Lasts up to 20 minutes
* Every ring is quality inspected to ensure reliability
* Raised dot adds increased pleasure
* May be used with or without condom
* Available wherever quality Trojan® Condoms are sold*
* Includes 1 Trojan® premium latex condom

Woohoo! Vibrating goodness for only $9.95! Wait a minute. Only 20 minutes?!? What about the other 2 hours? Us sexual tyrannosaurus need way more battery life than that!

Death by Caffeine

Energy Fiend-Death by Caffeine
This one's from Baa!

How much of your favorite caffeinated drink would it take to kill you? Take this quick test and find out:

Awesome. Only 210 cans of Mountain Dew and I would be pushing up daisies.

Pick your favorite beverage out of the list and enter your weight and it automagically calculates how many drinks it would take to send you the way of Paris Hilton's morals.

Radical Toaster

Six-Part Toaster | Kitchen Contraptions.com

If one piece of toast isn't enough for you in the morning, here is the answer. The toaster has six compartments for toasting. Then the compartments come off the main assembly and swing open, so your toast can stay warm on the hot plate.

You gotta admit, it does look pretty cool.

Lights, Cameras—Everywhere

News from PC Magazine: Lights, Cameras—Everywhere

These technologies can already "greatly reduce the energy cost of capturing a digital image," says Mark Bocko, professor of electrical and computer engineering at the university. Bocko's team has a prototype chip that can directly digitize each pixel location in a CMOS sensor, using only three transistors per pixel to keep the sensor small. That translates into just 0.88 nanowatts per pixel at 30 frames per second of video—one-fiftieth of what today's sensors require.

Oh goody. That's what we need, more cameras. Sure, I'm a fairly rabid privacy nut, but do we really need cameras everywhere?

I like how they try and put a positve spin on it.

What if cameras were ubiquitous, wirelessly sending images to a security company when a home alarm goes off, letting mapping software zoom into real-time images at any location, and making cell-phone video calls workable?

Oh, well as long as it makes video cell calls workable...sigh.

Handy Stalker Tools in the making.

Flik Bottle Opener

Flik Bottle Opener - I Want One Of Those

At the touch of a swish chrome button on this exquisitely tooled piece of kit, out springs a corkscrew and bottle opener, complete with serrated foil cutter. It feels wonderfully weighty in the hand, and flicking it open is altogether too much fun.

Very nice. A switchblade bottle opener. I still like the Bottlefly better. Sure it doesn't have that fancy corkscrew thingie, but who needs it? I can open wine just by twisting off the cap.

Infocom T-Shirt

J!NX - Computer Tee - Infocom Tee - Gamer Geek Nerd Hacker Computer

All hail the pioneers of the text adventure! We have no doubt that the vintage geeks out there celebrated the entire collection from these game gurus. Respect to these badass coders, they played a big part in the gaming revolution and now we honor that which once was, but is no more.

Dat's right, we're keepin' it real here at CBS. Representin' old school style, we're talkin' O.G. Dat's right. Original Gamer biotch!

Errr...sorry. Don't know what happened there. Watch out for that grue.